


I'm Alone, No You're Not

by MotherOfRodents



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Hopeless Romantics, I just wanted someone to be loved cuz I just went through a break up, It's oddly precious how they are with each other, Mental Health Issues, Mental Illness, Porn with some plot, Smut, Song Lyrics, Song fic, Sorry Not Sorry, Super cheese romance, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:07:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 35,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24667342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MotherOfRodents/pseuds/MotherOfRodents
Summary: After the Battle of Fairy Tail, Lucy runs into Bickslow and invites him inside. Neither could have predicted what happened after.I wanted to write a story based against music but following the whole album. This story is set to the album I'm Alone, No You're Not by Joseph.
Relationships: Bickslow/Lucy Heartfilia
Comments: 8
Kudos: 42





	1. Canyon

_Give me your body._   
_Give me your mind._

  
He was walking on the ledge by the canal, Babies bobbing in tow. After what had happened the week before, he was still upset. Why had he gone along with his best friend's plan? It was stupid and he knew it. He didn't hold the same ideals, but he trusted him.

After all, Laxus knew best.

He leaned forward and placed his hands on the cold stones, lifting his legs in the air to do a hand stand. He walked on his hands for a few feet when he heard a semi-familiar voice.

"What are you doing, Bickslow?"

He turned around to look at where the voice came from. He cocked his head at the blonde mage standing a few feet away. "Walking on my hands. What are _you_ doing, Cosplayer?"

She rolled her eyes and replied simply, "Walking on my feet."

He chuckled at her smartass response then did a flip to land on his feet in front of her. He looked down at her. He opened his visor to get a better look at her. "Hey, um... I just want to apologize. For what happened before. And the fight. You kicked my ass. I respect that."

She seemed surprised by his actions and it showed. She studied his face as he studied hers. She smiled at him. "It's okay. I had wondered about your magic and even though it sucked to fight it, it was super cool to see up close."

He smiled back at her. "You still kicked my ass." His tongue lolled out of his mouth. "What are you doin' over here?"

She pointed to the building in front of them. "I live here." She wasn't sure if she should tell him where she lives, but of all of her guild mates he seemed like he wouldn't break in.

"Well, now that I know that, we can hang out sometime."

She really hadn't expected that either. And she could tell he didn't mean to say it out loud because the blush that came over his face was almost as red as Erza's hair. "S-sure." 

He seemed even more surprised when that came out of her mouth. He slowly turned to face her. As he did that, his Babies zoomed forward to slowly circle her.

She smiled as they circled her, somewhat reminding her of her Spirits. "Hi! How are you, little ones?"

All five stopped bobbing in the air and stood still. _'She's talking to them... She's talking to my Babies.... Babies, you can talk to her if you want.'_

  
_I wanna cross your borders._   
_I wanna take my time._

  
"Talk to Cosplayer?" one of the disembodied voices asked. 

"Talk to Cosplayer," another one repeated.

She chuckled at them and reached out to touch the nearest one. "What's your name?" He fingers lightly touching the wooden totem.

The totem turned to look at an awestruck Bickslow and then turned back to Lucy as he nodded at it. "Pappa."

"Well, it is nice to meet you, Pappa." She gently set a finger on one of the totem's wings, as if to shake hands.

Bickslow took slow steps towards the Celestial mage. "They don't...." he stopped when she turned to look at him, still smiling.

"They're adorable, Bickslow."

He stared at her incredulously. No one had ever said that about his Babies before. He didn't know what to do or say.

And she picked up on his shyness. "If you guys want, you can come inside." She stepped off the ledge and to the ground and his Babies followed her.

 _'We want to hang out with Cosplayer, Bickslow.'_ He smiled as all his babies spoke in unison. He followed them, unsure of what to do. While he was attracted to her before, he felt even more drawn to her now. He followed her into her apartment and heard her close the door behind him. He took off his hood without thinking and turned to see her surprised. "What?"

She smiled at the blush that once again that crossed his face. "I just didn't expect you to take off your hood. I've only ever seen it off once." She took off her boots and watched as he followed suit. She walked past him and put her keys down on the coffee table. "So what do you want to do, little ones?" She cocked her head at his Babies and smiled.

The one she knew as Pappa floated up to her face. "Can we watch a movie?"

"Of course!" She walked over to where her lacrima television was and pulled a box out. "What do you want to watch?"

"Something funny!" The little totem's bobbed and hummed in excitement behind her.

She turned to Bickslow, who was still standing by the coffee table. "You have a say, too."

He chuckled and walked over to where they were. He saw one near the top and reached down over her to get it. "This one's good." He handed it to her.

  
_I know the feeling_   
_When you're standing beside._

  
She could feel herself blushing. His chest touched her shoulders when he bent over her and she could that his body was relatively muscular, even through what looked like fifty layers of clothes. She also noticed he smelled really good. She took the movie from him and put it on. She stood up and blushed even more when she realized he was still close, bumping into his chest. She almost fell backwards, but he caught her. She noticed he was blushing just as much as she was. She straightened herself up and went to sit on the couch and he followed her, sitting next to her.

He didn't realize he was sitting so close to her until her leg bumped his when she shivered. He reached for the blanket he saw on the back of the couch and laid it across her lap. He knew his Babies would be relatively preoccupied with the movie to pay attention to him and what he was doing. He turned his head to look at her and watched as she did the same. He couldn't help but smile at her.

"I just want you to know that you're beautiful. And don't let anyone ever tell you any different. And just to be clear, I do mean inside as well as out. I can see your soul.... And it's one of the most beautiful souls I've ever seen." He kept his somewhat raspy voice slightly above a whisper. 

She smiled and blushed at the compliment. She had never gotten such a wonderful compliment before. Before she knew it she reached out and touched his face. She whispered back to him. "You're pretty handsome yourself."

He watched her face continue to have a big smile on it that reached her chocolate eyes as he put his hand over hers. For the first time in his life, a girl left him frozen and unsure what to do. "I'm gonna be honest. I want to kiss you. But I don't want to do that in case you don't want me to." He felt his heartbeat accelerate as she turned her body towards him.

"I appreciate that." She put her free hand on his chest as the other fell to his shoulder, then snaked around the back of his neck. "If I'm being honest, I want to kiss you too." She pulled his face closer to hers and smiled slightly as his red eyes widened.

He leaned into her and pressed his lips against hers. He welcomed her tongue as it slid between his lips. He gasped softly as she slid into his lap. He wrapped his arms around her waist as their tongues wrestled. 

She pulled away to breathe and watched his head fall against the back of the couch and his tongue loll out of his mouth. She smiled as he continued to look dazed. She rocked her hips against his and giggled as he muttered a 'damn, Cosplayer' under his breath. She stroked his cheek, causing him to slowly open his eyes. "While I will not have sex with you tonight, I will gladly do other things. And you can stay the night as well."

"Where's your room?" He watched her hand rise up and point. He grabbed her thighs and stood up, causing her to wrap her legs around his waist. He turned in the direction she was pointing and followed her silent directions until he found her room. He set her down on the bed and took off his several shirts all at once. He watched her fingers as they reached out to touch his abs, tracing the contours. "Here's the deal, Cosplayer. I won't make you do anything you don't want to do. I'm gonna let you take the lead here."

Her head shot up at him, surprise all over her face. "Meaning...?" She was pretty sure she knew exactly what it meant but just wanted to make sure. She stood up in front of him.

  
_And when I face you_   
_My doors open wide._

  
He looked into her sparkling chocolate eyes, somewhat mesmerized by them. "If you want me touch somewhere, you put my hands there. You want me to kiss somewhere, you put my lips there." He breathed deeply and closed his eyes." Since we're already being honest with each other, I've had a little crush on you for a while now. And as much as I'd love to fuck you right now, I'm not going to. The main reason being you already said no for tonight. And I would like to in the future. I'm already starting to like you a lot more than I've liked girls in the past and it scares the hell out of me." He opened his eyes to her wrapping her arms around him and laying her head on his chest.

She smiled as he wrapped his arms around her. "I like that you're being honest with me." She rested her chin on his chest and looked up at him. "I think you're really sweet and I honestly wasn't expecting this from you." She let go of him and sat down on the bed and gestured for him to sit next to her, which he did. "So, you like me, huh?"

She giggled as he rolled his eyes and he turned to look at her. "Yeah, Lucy, I do. I've seen you around the guild and thought you were fucking sexy. And then I heard some of your conversations and heard about what you've done. And... I don't know." He cocked his head at her. " The first time I looked at your soul... I was blown away." He nibbled his lip a little, afraid to tell her the next part but decided to anyway. _'Oh, what the hell. We're being honest anyway.'_ "Your soul is so beautiful and mesmerizing... If we're continuing to be honest, I almost fell in love with you right then." He shrugged then leaned forward, arms resting on his knees.

She reached out and touched his back, softly rubbing small circles around and around. "That is the sweetest and most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me. And because of that," she took one of his hands in her free one and intertwined their fingers, "I'm willing to give you a try."

He turned to look at her. "Like take you out on dates? Because I'd fucking love that shit."

She laughed at the seriousness of his voice, never really imagining him to ever be serious. She laughed even more when she saw that he was blushing again. "I will say," she stroked his cheek, "I could most definitely get used to making such a good looking man blush at such innocent words. And all the sweet things you're saying to me."

"So... Do you wanna go on a date with me?" He cocked an eyebrow at her.

"I'd like that." 

He chuckled. "Hell, yeah." He kissed her temple. "How naked are we gonna get tonight though? I'll be honest, I don't care how much, as long as you let me touch you."

She stood up in front of him. She traced his jawline as he looked up at her. She took of her shirt and smirked as he exhaled loudly. "Tell you what. Tonight, we'll get down to underwear."

He stood up next to her and almost ripped off his pants. "I'm down with whatever you want, Cosplayer." He reach out to touch her cheek as she slid down her skirt and it fell to the floor. "Fuck, you're beautiful." He smiled as she wrapped her arms around his waist, tilted her head back and close her eyes. He leaned down and kissed her collarbone as he clasped his hands behind her back, licking up her neck and smiled as a soft moan escaped her lips. He licked the shell of her ear and whispered, "I really couldn't help myself. Your neck looked so goddamn delicious. I just had to taste."

She reached up and bit his ear. "What else would you like to taste?" she whispered back to him. She moaned softly as he pressed his fingers into her back. She was pushing his buttons and knew it. She smiled as he kissed her neck again. She hummed softly as he nibbled her. She pulled him into her, making their chests touch. She smirked up at him as he pulled away from her neck and straightened his posture. "Not gonna answer my question?"

"Cosplayer, I'm pretty sure you know the answer. And I know that if I do that, I'm going to want to taste you all over. And I don't think I'll be able to stop." He reached down to cup both of her butt cheeks and squeezed them. "Fucking shit. Your body is perfect." He smiled as she blushed at that. He squeezed her cheeks again as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his face down to hers and kissed him.

  
_Can't get, I can't get,_   
_Can't get close enough to be close to you._

  
He leaned into and laid her on the bed. Their tongues wrestled for dominance as he settled himself between her legs. She gasped into his mouth as he pressed his pelvis against her. He could feel how wet she was through both layers of fabric. He grabbed her hips as he continued to grind against her.

"I have a proposition," she whispered in between deep breaths. "You keep doing what you're doing, I'll give you a blowjob to finish."

He kissed her and pulled her bottom lip in between his teeth, nibbling as he pulled away. He saw the hunger in her eyes and knew that his mirrored hers. He nodded and she rocked her hips against him in approval. He bit his lip as her eyes rolled back into her head and body shook beneath him. He groaned as she leaned her head back up and bit his shoulder. _'If she's a biter, than I am really going to enjoy my time with her.'_ He wrapped his arms around her and rolled them over.

She leaned down and kissed him. She peppered kisses down his chin, neck, chest, and abdomen. He sat up as she got on her knees on the floor. She freed his member and looked up at him. Her tongue grazed over the head, smiling as she tasted the bit of precum. She licked down the entire length, the tip of her tongue gracing his sac and made him want her more. Her tongue slid back up and she wrapped her lips around the head of his cock. She watched as his eyes rolled back into his head and his tongue lolled from the corner of his mouth. She kept her eyes on his face as she bobbed her head up and down, going farther and farther until she had his whole length in her mouth. She felt his cock twitch against the back of her throat.

He growled. "You don't have a gag reflex, do you? Fucking shit you don't." He tangled his fingers in her hair as he groaned. She was surprised when he didn't push her head down farther or thrust his hips into her face faster. And she decided to reward him for that: she took his whole length once more, her tongue trying to memorize every piece of him. When her nose nuzzled the patch of hair above his cock, she stuck her tongue out and grazed his sac once again. She hummed softly and heard a guttural growl rise from his throat. She felt him swell then the pressure of his orgasm hit the back of her throat. She sucked every last drop from him and smiled as more moans and curses fell from his lips.

He looked down at her as she placed his member back into his boxers, stroking her cheek as she stood up. She laughed as he tried to form words, but just stuttered. She continued to laugh as he dramatically fell back onto the bed. He tried to speak again, but was only capable of noises akin to bleating, which made her laugh even harder.

"Oh, God, I broke him," she was able to get out between fits of laughter.

He held up a finger as he continued to try and catch his breath. "Almost, Cosplayer. Almost," he finally muttered in a hushed, raspy tone. "You just wait until my soul comes back to me. And I'll return the favor. And then I'm gonna go to sleep."

She got on the bed and crawled up to where his head was and sat next to him. "I'm not entirely sure you can get up, Bix." She chuckled as he opened his eyes and glared at her. She put her hand on his chest and rubbed in slow circles. "You can do that tomorrow because I think you're down for the count."

He cocked his head at her. A devious smile crept across his lips as he reached out to touch her, softly grazing her thighs with his fingertips. When his fingers got up to her hips, he grabbed as hard as he could and pulled her on top of him; her warm heat just inches from his mouth. He slowly brought her down and hummed in delight when he could finally taste her. He pulled the wet fabric away from her and licked her clit, smirking as she struggled to keep herself upright. He licked circles around the little bundle of nerves and then suckled it lighty before giving it a soft nibble.

He trailed his tongue across her wet entrance, back and forth and back again. When he thrusted his long tongue inside her, she made the most beautiful fucking sounding moan that he had ever heard. He hummed as she whispered his name between moans. She buckled over when the tip of his tongue graced the spongey bundle of nerves and she made that beautiful sound once again. He reached between them and pushed her back up, holding her in place, so he could hit that spot again and again and again.

Her eyes rolled back into her head and arced her back. She felt that oh so familiar feeling in the very core of her being, that hot coil winding up ever so tightly, and sent small shudders through her body. She started to shake and slowly rocked her hips against his face. The pleasure rippled through her body at lighting speed, the coil giving way. She crumpled down onto his chest, convulsions still quaking through her body. 

He gently lifted her off him and listened to her attempt to catch her breath. His own breathing finally regular as he reached over and touched her arm. "Told ya I'd getcha back, Cosplayer." He chuckled. He lifted himself up and scooted up to the pillows and laid his head on the heavenly puff. "Need help?" He chuckled again as she shook her head.

"I just... Need... A minute.... Give me a sec..."

He laughed at her while she attempted to move but was only met with tiny convulsions. "Damn, I'm good."

She chuckled. "Oh, yeah. Regardless.... Of what happens between us... Oh... That will forever be locked in my spank bank." She exhaled as he laughed and was able to slowly lift herself up and lay next to him. "I have... One tiny request."

"Want me to have my Babies shut off the lights?"

"Uh, not what I was going to say. But they can. I wanted to request you be the big spoon. I just need a minute before I roll over."

He pulled the blanket out from under them and covered them as the lights went off. She rolled over and scooted back into him. He wrapped his arms around her and curled up.

"Goodnight, Cosplayer."

"Goodnight, Bickslow."

  
_Can't get, I can't get there,_   
_An inch is a canyon._

  
*****

  
He looked around, unaware of where he was. "Babies?" his uncharacteristically soft tone caused them to stir in his pockets. He watched as they each came out, one by one. "What happened?" He rubbed his cheek and was thankful he still had his visor on and it was pulled down. "How much time did I lose?"

"Just a couple hours," Pappa hovered in front of his face. "You wouldn't let us do anything to help you though."

"Again," Pippi added.

"You cut off your magic to us." If Peppe had a real face still, Bickslow imagined it would have been a very angry one pointed at him.

"I'm sorry, Babies. You know I don't mean to do it. I really don't."

"Why don't you let Freed take you to that doctor?" Poppo mused.

"No. Not doing that. I can't.... I'm not doing that again."

"But it's getting worse, Bickslow, Pappa nudged him as he started to walk, the other totems leading him back to town. "At least tell Freed and Evergreen it's getting worse."

"If I do that, they'll take me to the doctor and I'll get locked up again for sure. I'm not going through that again. Not ever."

"Maybe Cosplayer can help," Puppu chimed in.

"Maybe." 

  
_I'll pay you my attention_   
_If you invite me inside._

  
The thought of telling Lucy about his mental illness so soon after they started dating scared him. The last two weeks they'd been together had been perfect. They'd gone on a few dates. They'd had many nights like their first one together, but surprisingly hadn't had sex yet. They had both turned out to be secret hopeless romantics and wanted it to be special. So, they kept doing other things and were okay with waiting for the rest.

He kept circling back to whether or not he should tell her as he walked back into town. The other members of the Raijinshu knew and they did their best to understand. Freed had done his research and shared with Laxus and Evergreen the facts they needed to know and how best to help him when he was going through the worst parts of it. He smiled as he thought back to when he told his friends about it and how wonderful they'd been. It was nice having someone to help him, even if they didn't quite understand what he was going through.

He looked up and found himself in front of Lucy's apartment building. He wondered if she was home.

"Maybe you should knock, dumbass."

He turned to look at Pappa, who was floating next to him at eye level. He rolled his eyes as he walked into the building and up to her door. As he knocked, he decided he would tell her. _'It's for the best, right, Babies? If she really likes me, then she'll be okay with it and want to help me.'_ He smiled as all five totem's hummed at him. His smile widened and the door opened as he saw his gorgeous girlfriend standing there.

"Well, hello, handsome. Hi, Babies!" She smiled as the totems all snuggled up against her abdomen and she stepped aside to let Bickslow in. She closed the door as he took off his shoes and walked back into the kitchen. "You're just in time. I made dinner." She turned and cocked her head at him.

"Smells great." He took off his visor and hood and set them on the coffee table. He smiled at her as he heard her whisper with his Babies. He was so glad they liked her as much as they did. And was even happier she liked them too. 

He sat at the table and watched as she brought the food over. She smiled at him as she sat down. They enjoyed their meal, telling each other the nuances of their days, both thankful for the small reprieve of normalcy. After the meal, he helped her do the dishes and then put the food away.

  
_Show me your country,_   
_I'll be still and quiet._

  
They went to sit on the couch. He sighed. "I have something to tell you."

She looked at him nervously but tried to keep her voice calm. "Okay." She could tell by the look on his face and the way he hung his head that it was a deeply personal matter. "Take your time, babe."

He smiled at that. She quickly fell into the habit of calling him 'babe' and 'baby.' He called her those things too, but more often than not he used 'Cosplayer.' He took a deep breath as his Babies settled on their laps.

_'You can do it, Bickslow.'_

_'We're here to help if you need it.'_

"Do you know what schizophrenia is?"

She was taken back by his question and knew exactly where this conversation was headed. She nodded. "Vaguely. I couldn't talk about it in detail, but I know the gist." She reached out and touched his shoulder, her fingers rubbing in circular tracks. "Why?"

"Because I have it." He sighed. "One of the worst parts about it that sometimes I lose track of time. I guess I kind of blackout and don't remember what happens in that time. Sometimes it's minutes, sometimes it's days. Today, I lost track of a few hours and ended up in the woods outside of town." He looked at her. "I take medication and stuff but it doesn't always help. But I wanted to let you know... I just didn't want you to wake up in the middle of the night and wonder where I am. Or if I'm late to something... It happens more than I'd like it to, but I'm trying to deal with it."

She smiled softly at him. "I'm glad you're comfortable enough to tell me this. It makes me really happy that you trust me." She leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Tell you what, if you want, I can do some research and see if I can find some stuff out. Like what meds work best for what symptoms. Only if you want me to though. And you don't have to tell me more now. It can be another time. I can't imagine how hard it was for you to tell me. I want you to tell me about it at your own pace. I'll help you, if you let me."

He sighed deeply and reached over to wrap his arms around her and pull her in for a hug. _'I could fall in love with this girl.'_ He kissed the top of her head. "Can we go lay down to cuddle?"

She giggled as the totems hummed between them, wanting to watch a movie while they did that. "What movie do you guys wanna watch?" She smiled when they each said something different.

"Tell you guys what, if you want, I can let you a little loose tonight and you can watch all of them. Just in case we fall asleep, you can still change the movie and not watch the same one all night." He smiled as they all hummed contently.

Lucy got up and went over to the box and pulled out the requested movies: The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, The Sword in the Stone, and The Sound of Music.

He sighed. "Poppo, what kind of old lesbian were you?"

The totem floated to get in his face. "You talk shit about the lovely Julie Andrews and it's that ass."

Lucy laughed. "You were a woman when you were alive, Poppo?" She put the movies on the table except Aladdin and put that one on for them.

"I was. And I was a babe."

Both Lucy and Bickslow laughed at that as he stood up. He sent a little more of his magic into the totems to allow them to move their souls between objects without him. He smiled as they all sat and hummed happily on the table. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders as they walked to the bedroom. Without thinking, he took off his clothes and laid in bed. He didn't expect her to do the same but was pleasantly surprised when she did.

  
_Take me to your darkest corner,_   
_Show me what you're trying to hide._

  
He sighed contently as she snuggled up next to him under the blanket. He smiled as he felt her fingers rub those comforting circles on his back.

"Hey, Bix?" she whispered into his chest.

"Yeah, Cosplayer?"

"Can we make out?"

He laughed as he pulled away and looked down at her. Her wide chocolate eyes filled with need, and he loved that it was need for him. He kissed her as she pulled him closer. He smiled as her tongue gently pressed against his lips, wanting in-between them. He greeted her tongue with his as he slid on top of her. He felt her move underneath him to take off her bra. One of his hands trailed up her side from her hip to her breast and kneaded it before pinching the peach peak between his fingers and pulling on it slightly. She moaned when he pulled on it and he did it again, just wanting to hear that moan again.

He loved her breasts and wanted nothing more than to tease them with his tongue but settled with his hands as she refused to let his lips go for more than a few seconds at a time to breathe. She wrapped one of her legs around his waist as he settled himself between them. She moaned softly as he continued to tease her breasts, having to use one hand to switch between them so he could still hold himself up.

Her breath caught in her throat and she let out a loud moan from deep inside as he grinded his hips against hers, feeling just how hard he was against her. He growled slightly when she reached between them and slid her hand in his boxers to touch his cock.

Tonight was the night. And it was as if they both shared that thought at the same time.

  
_I've got a little fear,_   
_But it's the reverent kind._

She pulled down his boxers as far as she could reach and then pulled them the rest of the way off with her toes and then did the same with her panties. She gasped softly as he pressed himself against her wet core. Her hand went back to his cock and lined it up with her entrance and allowed him inside. Her lips released their stranglehold on his as she leaned her head back and closed her eyes. Her breath hitched as he slowly pushed himself inside and allowed her time to adjust to him.

She sighed contently as he peppered her neck with small open mouth kisses and bites, letting out soft moans as teeth met flesh. He rested his head on her shoulder as he began to move again, gliding in and out of her with ease. He picked up the pace when she turned her head to bite his ear. Her breathy moans tickled his skin every time he was fully sheathed in her. 

He placed his forehead against hers and kissed her briefly, their breath tangling between them. He wrapped his arms around her waist and sat up, pulling her with him as he sat back with her on his lap. She wrapped one arm around his neck as he began to rock her hips up and down. She smiled as her head fell back. He kissed down her throat and grabbed both of her breasts as she began to rock her hips against him. He bit one of her nipples as he pinched he other. His cheeks hollowed as he sucked harder ran his tongue around in quick circles. She moved faster as he switched his actions on her nipples, giving the same attention as he had before.

A smile slowly found its way across her face as she felt that coil begin to wind up inside her. He wrapped his arms around her as he kissed her collar bone and looked up at her; the sheer ecstasy on her face. He couldn't look away and her nails dug into his shoulder and scalp. He felt her body tense. He reached down and touched her clit, pressing his finger into it before moving it in circles. She moaned as she felt the small waves ripple through her body. She whispered his name as the coil gave way. 

He groaned as every shudder that went through her caused the muscles around his member to clench tightly, then release moments later. He gave her a low, guttural moan as he could no longer keep his own orgasm at bay, emptying himself inside her. 

She fell back onto the bed and he laid down next to her. He turned to look at her, both breathing hard. She turned her head and reached out to touch his cheek.

She exhaled loudly and smiled. "Probably the best sex I've ever had." She closed her eyes again as the last ripples of pleasure shuddered through her. 

"Oh, I have to agree." He kissed her palm.

_Can't get, I can't get_   
_Close enough to be close to you_

  
She finally found the will to keep her eyes open and looked at him. His skin was flushed red all over, small droplets of sweat beaded up here and there. His red eyes were still burning with a lustful desire that set nethers on fire. She smiled when she saw he was smiling. "Once I'm able to move more, we're going for round two."

"Oh, you can't move, can you?" He sat up and hovered his face over hers. She shook her head at him as he traced her collarbone. "Damn, that sucks." He ran his fingers down her abdomen to her hips. He smirked down at her as his fingers found her wet folds, pressing between them. "Because I clearly can."

She moaned as his fingers went inside her. She moaned louder as he found that familiar spongey spot and thrust his fingers against it. His thumb deftly rubbed circles around her still throbbing clit. He leaned down to kiss her. She moaned his name into his mouth and reached out to wrap her fingers around his still erect member. He looked into her eyes and was set ablaze by the hunger in them. He scooted himself closer to her, feeling her tug on him, until his cock pressed against her lips.

His eyes closed as she took him into her mouth. He slowly rocked his hips to thrust himself deeper into her throat. He looked down at her; her pink, swollen lips looked beautiful around his cock. She moved her hand in rhythm with her tongue causing him to mutter curses under his breath. He knew if she kept going, he'd come again. A small part of him wondered if she would allow him into all her entrances, so as to claim all of them as his. 

She looked up and him and could tell he was close again. She moved faster, her cheeks hollowing out longer as she sucked harder. She smiled as he grabbed the back of her head and thrusted himself into her throat and filled her mouth with the spoils just as she clenched around his fingers, signaling her own orgasm.

  
_Can't get, I can't get there,_   
_An inch is a canyon._

  
He leaned down and kissed her forehead, brushing the somewhat sweaty tendrils away. "Fucking shit..." he whispered as he laid back down and closed his eyes. He brought his fingers to her lips and she sucked the mixture of both of their juices off of them. He felt her head on his chest and wrapped an arm around her. "God damn, Cosplayer. Part of me wants to ask you to marry me just so I can fuck you for the rest of our lives."

She laughed at that. Of course he'd say that. "I'm flattered." She breathed deeply as her fingers traced the contours of his chest and abdomen.

"I have a question."

"I have an answer."

He stuttered slightly before quickly asking, "How do you feel about anal?"

The silence that filled the room was palpable. _'Oh gods, I didn't mean to offend her. Fuck...'_ He opened his eyes and looked down, surprised to see her face. She was blushing such a bright red, he felt the heat of her face on his chest. _Oh_. He chuckled slightly as his tongue lolled from his mouth. "That much." She nodded aggressively and he laughed again. "Fantastic. Part of me was hoping you did. I was gettin' a little attached to the idea of fucking all your holes tonight."

The smile that was initially on her face was sheepish and then turned mischievous. Her eyes silently asked the question as she sat up.

The look on his face answered her. "Turn around."

She did as told and he gently pushed her head down and put her bottom in the air. She moaned softly as he squeezed the orbs and closed her eyes. He gently pulled her cheeks apart and his tongue grazed the rear entrance. She whispered an 'oh fuck' as his tongue slowly traced the hole and then went inside. Her eyes rolled back into her head as his fingers once again found their way inside her. She tightly fisted the blanket beneath her as his tongue and fingers worked in tandem, relaxing the muscle. He removed his tongue and she whined softly at that, only to moan after when he replaced it with his cock.

She released a loud moan as he slowly went inside her. Once he was in all the way, he leaned over and kissed her shoulder as he gripper her hips. She turned her head slightly and groaned as he gently thrusted.

"Oh, fuck..." she hissed between gritted teeth, the pain quickly turning to pleasure.

  
_I can't get there,_   
_Get there without you._

  
She slowly rose up, arching her back. He reached out and grasped a handful of hair, pulling slightly, making her moan even louder. He continued his ministrations, knowing he wouldn't last near as long as he had previously regardless of pace; she just felt so fucking good. She continued to rise up, still keeping her back arced, until her head met his chest. He looked down at her face; her eyes closed in pure, rapturous pleasure.

He released her hair and slid his hand down her side and around her hip. Her breath hitched as his fingers rubbed her swollen clit. She bit her lip as her hands reached behind her to his hips and gripped tightly, her nails digging into his skin. His other hand slid up her body and wrapped his fingers around her throat. She opened her eyes and moaned loudly.

The sounds of skin violently hitting skin and moans filled the room as she felt that coil winding up again. Her eyes began to close and then opened again when his fingers tighten their grip on her throat; he wanted to look into her eyes as they both came. And he got exactly what he wanted as her brow furrowed and body shook. He reached his own climax, feeling as if her convulsing muscles wanted to milk out every last drop. 

  
_I can't get there,_   
_Get there without you._

  
She smiled as he fell backwards from her. He looked up at her still arced back until she slumped down next to him. He draped an arm around her waist and pulled her close.

"God, you're amazing."

He chuckled as his tongue lolled out of his mouth. "I mean, I'm good but I'm no god."

She laughed. She rolled over and faced him. "I might take you up on that marriage proposal. I'm not entirely sure I want to share you."

He smiled and kissed her forehead. "Don't tempt me." He sighed deeply and closed his eyes.

She curled up against him and tangled her legs with his as he pulled the blanket over them. 

  
_I've got a shovel, babe, and you're a coal mine._   
_I wanna get there._

  
After a long silence, she whispered something that had been on her mind for awhile. "I know I said I would let you tell me in your own time, but I just wanted to know what it was like. Like, what it feels like."

He pulled away and looked down at her. His muddled brain going over the conversations of the night before he found the topic she was inquiring about. "My schizophrenia?"

She nodded. "The curious writer in me was wondering."

"Were you thinking about that while we were having sex?"

"Oh, gods no!" She chuckled as relief washed over him. "I was thinking about it before and now that I'm not all horny, the thought came back to me."

He sighed deeply and thought long and hard about how he should answer. "It's hard to describe. But most of the time, it's kind of scary. I just... Hear shit a lot. Shit I know isn't really there. Every now and then, I see shit I know isn't really there. And it's... Terrifying. Because it's not always passive shit, like the voices telling me I'm a piece of shit. But voices telling me to go and hurt people. And it fuckin' sucks."

  
_I can't get there,_   
_Get there without you._

  
She nodded. She kissed his chin. "I'm glad you told me." She smiled as he stared at her incredulously. "It makes me feel good to know that you trust me enough to tell me that. I know you don't exactly like to feel vulnerable. It's nice to know that you trust me enough to be vulnerable with me. Like, it makes me feel selfish because of how happy it makes me... If that makes sense."

He smiled and nuzzled his nose against the top of her head. "It makes perfect sense. It makes me feel better that you know. It's nice having someone care and want to help you through something like that. Especially someone you lo.... Like a lot."

Her eyes widened and the crimson returned to her face at his small slip of words. She smiled and sighed softly as a soft pink graced his face as well. She lowered her head and put her ear to his chest to hear his heartbeat. She whispered so low he almost didn't hear, "It's okay. I think I'm falling in love with you too."

The grin that spread across his face at her barely audible words was bigger than ever. He opened his mouth to respond but then realized she was softly snoring. He closed his eyes and allowed the exhaustion to cwash over him. 

  
_I can't get there,_   
_Get there without you._

  
*****

  
A smile crept across her face as she opened her eyes. She could smell breakfast cooking as she sat up. She began to get out of bed as footsteps came down the hall.

"Morning, Cosplayer." He leaned against the door frame with a plate in each hand. "Get back in bed."

She sighed as she did so, pulling the blanket up around her chest. "Did you make me breakfast in bed?" She looked down at the plate he had set in her lap: two pieces of buttered toast, some scrambled eggs, bacon and sausage.

He sat in front of her with his own plate. "Yes, I did." He had made himself a sandwich and held out a piece of cheese. "I didn't know if you'd want cheese..." For some reason, he was blushing.

She cocked her head and smiled at him as she took the cheese. "Thank you, baby." She turned to see his Babies floating in the room, two had cups of coffee on top of them. She gladly reached out and felt the warmth against her palms.

They ate their breakfast relatively silent, listening to his Babies talk about their night of movies. The little souls then asked if they could watch more movies and we're excited when they were given permission. They took the empty plates and cups away with them as Lucy got up and stretched.

She smiled as she felt his eyes on her. She turned and leaned down to kiss his forehead. "I'm gonna brush my teeth."

He watched her walk away and turn down the hallway. He crawled into the bed and covered himself with the blanket, not necessarily cold. He laid back and clasped his hand under his head. His thoughts raced of the night before and he tried to think of something other than her soft skin and how fucking beautiful she looked naked.

  
_I'm a diver, love, and you're the ocean._   
_I wanna get there._

  
He was jarred from his thoughts as he felt her cuddle up next to him. He smiled and wrapped an arm around her as she kissed his jaw. "What do you want to do today?" He knew what he wanted to do, and that way lay in bed all day. His body was still exhausted and most of his muscles ached from the previous night's activities, but he still wanted nothing more than to hear her moans fill the room.

As if reading his mind she sighed and said, "Can't we just stay in bed?" She groaned as she draped an arm around his waist. "I also don't really want to move just yet. And even though I just woke up, I just want to sleep some more."

He chuckled. "We can do that. In fact," he turned his head and kissed her hair, "I think that sounds amazing." He closed his eyes as she sighed happily. 

They slept for a few more hours. She woke up first, smiling at how peaceful he looked. She stroked his cheek and he stirred slightly. She sighed as he opened one eye.

"I didn't mean to wake you, Bix."

"It's okay, babe." He nuzzled his nose against her and smiled. He sighed as he felt her fingers rub circles on his chest and slowly moved her hand down. He cocked an eyebrow at her and she smirked up at him. He sighed. "How about we take a bath?"

She laughed and smiled. "I'd like that." She got up and stretched and he did the same. He followed her to the bathroom and watched as she got two towels from the small closet and nodded her head towards it. "Do you wanna take a bubble bath?"

He smiled and stood behind her and looked at the assortment of bottles. He reached in to grab a bottle and she kissed his bicep. She took the bottle from him and turned on the faucet and put the stopper in the drain. She waited until the tub was filled a little less than halfway and pured a generous amount of the soap into the water. She put the cap on and read the bottle, smiling because that one was her favorites.

He stepped past her and into the water. He sat down and looked up at her smiling. He watched her join him. She sat in front of him, her back against his chest. He felt her fingers gently adjust his legs so she could be between them. She moved forward slightly to turn off the faucet and then laid back against his chest.

She closed her eyes as he wrapped an arm loosely around her neck. She smiled as his other hand intertwined their fingers. 

  
_Give me your hands,_   
_Give me your hands,_   
_Put mine on you,_   
_Wanna feel, wanna feel me get to you._

  
They sat in a relaxing silence for a long while as the water went from hot to warm and the bubbles started to disappear and shrink. 

"I could get used to this," he whispered. Everything was beautiful with her. The voices weren't as loud and were sometimes even silent all together. The shadows that haunted his periphery didn't come around as often. It was as though she provided a peaceful calm to his mind that he never knew before. 

She nodded in agreement and craned her neck slightly to look at him. She sighed as she took the sight of him in: his wet hair slicked back, small droplets of water sat and slid down his face, the person tattoo oh his face seemed darker than it usually did but that might have been the flush that had settled across his whole body. He was so handsome and sweet. 

He opened his eyes and peered down at her. He watched her chest rise and fall with every breath. Her big brown eyes seemed to sweep over every inch of his face. He wondered what exactly he did to be so lucky and have someone as beautiful and caring by his side. He smiled as she kissed his chin. He enjoyed basking in the light that emanated from her soul. 

  
_Give me your hands,_   
_Put mine on you,_   
_Wanna feel it, wanna feel it, wanna feel it._

  
After their bath, they laid in bed, smiling at one another. She had asked him about his childhood and he told her all he was comfortable with. She could tell he was having some trouble talking about his teenage years.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want." 

He sighed. "I do. It's just hard. It was around the time I got diagnosed. A lot happened and it kind of fucked me up."

She nodded. "You don't have to tell me now then. Just whenever you can. I know it's hard. I get it. I know it's not quite the same, but you know how hard it was for me to talk about my mom dying."

He sighed and nodded. "I just want you to know everything about me. I've never wanted anyone to know everything about me and I certainly never wanted to know everything about anyone else. But with you..." He reached out and stroked her cheek. "It's so different. I've never felt this way. And I've never felt feelings grow so fast. I just want you to know everything," he repeated into her forehead.

She wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled his close as tight as she could. "I feel the same way," she finally mustered up the courage to get the words out and planted a small kiss against his collarbone. "So don't be in any rush. We have all the time in the world." 

  
_Can't get, I can't get,_   
_Can't get close enough to be close to you._

  
He smiled and kissed her forehead. "Thank you, Lucy."

She couldn't contain the smile that crept across her lips as he said her name. "Anything for you at anytime, Bickslow." 

  
_Can't get, I can't get there,_  
 _An inch is a canyon._


	2. Overboard (SOS)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bickslow shares his history with Lucy. She finds a way to make it easier on him.

_You can't see me._   
_My eyes are closed and I swear_   
_You can't see me._

  
He had just gotten back from a mission, the Raijinshu's first mission without Laxus. It had gone not as smoothly as expected but they all survived relatively unscathed. He was walking home, ready to lay down. He wanted to see Lucy, but he wanted sleep just a little more.

And then he lost time. 

He came to floating in the canal, brought out of his sorry state by familiar hands pulling him towards the bank.

"Bix, baby, come one. I need you to work with me. Babies? Babies, where are you?" 

He lifted his hand to hers around his shoulders. "Cosplayer?" He opened his eyes and looked at her. He straightened himself, standing next to her in the water. "Where the hell are we?"

She took his hand and led him out of the canal. "By my apartment. I just happened to look out the window and saw you floating on by, not a god damn care in the world that it's starting to get cold out." She glared at him, but her anger melted away when he opened his visor and saw the expression on his face. She put an arm around his waist as the wet totems came from his pockets. "What's the last thing you remember?"

His tongue lolled out of his mouth as he thought, her still leading him to her apartment. He sighed. "We finished the mission... Freed was going to the guild hall to have Mira log it.... He told me and Ever to go ahead and go home to get some rest... I was walking home.... " His voice trailed off to a whisper.

She led him inside and closed the door behind them. She led him to the bathroom. She began to take of his wet clothes as he stood there lost in thought.

"He was talking to himself."

"He wasn't listening to us."

"We said to go to you and he shut off his magic to us."

She nodded as she listened to his Babies. She noticed he was covered in bruises and little cuts. "Are these from the mission or his... Episode?" She wasn't even sure what to call it.

"The mission," his voice barely above a whisper.

She sighed and stroked his cheek. "Oh, baby..." She held him tightly. She pulled away and held him at arm's length to get a good look at him.

"Nothing's broken. No sprains either. Just a shit load of bruises." His voice was still low.

And she could tell he was disappointed in himself for some reason.

  
_I want you close but my arms are holding me back._

  
She took off her own wet clothes and let him to the bedroom. She watched him crawl in bed and hide under the covers. His Babies sat next to him. She crawled under the blanket next to him and held up the blanket so his Babies could come under with them. 

"Bickslow, it's going to be okay."

"Will it?" He reached out to touch Pappa. "It's getting worse. And I don't know what to do...." He covered his face with his hands. "Lucy, close your eyes."

She did as commanded and could see a light through her eyelids. He told her that sometimes when his episodes got bad, his lost control of his Figure Eyes. She reached out and touched his face and smiled when he kissed her palm and held her hand tight.

"You can open your eyes now."

She opened her eyes and saw the green concentric rings still glowing in his. She sighed. "Baby, it's okay. I know you don't like that it happens. And I know you're afraid someone will lock you up again. But I won't let that happen. Especially since it's not something you want."

"Thank you, Lucy." He reached out and pulled her close, the totems moving so as to not be smushed between the two mages. "The past month with you has been the best I've ever had. And I wish I wasn't like this but I am. And I'm glad you accept me. And thank you for pulling me out of the canal." He wrapped his arms around her as tight as he could. He pulled the blanket down around their chests. His Babies floated out from under the blanket and went to sit on the window sill, one of them going to turn off the light. 

  
_I'll wait for you with both my eyes shut._   
_You don't see me,_   
_But come here close._

  
He was so tired, so exhausted. Every fiber of his being felt heavy. He closed his eyes as he felt her fingers rubbing those soothing circles on his back. The whispers in his head were getting louder. He held onto her tighter and tighter. They just kept getting louder.

' _Fuck up.'_

_'Like a golden soul would actually love you.'_

_'You will never be loved.'_

_'You will never be accepted.'_

"Please stop..."

They were going around and around in his head. Getting angrier and angrier. Meaner and meaner. He kept whispering for them to stop, repeating himself over and over. She furrowed her brow as he started sobbing. She wished she knew how to help him. All she could do was hold him tight as he whispered to himself to stop and shut up. 

"I'm here, Bickslow. I'm here," was all she could say. 

He let out a shaky breath and pulled away to look at her. "I'm sorry... I really am."

"Don't be." She stroked a tuft of hair behind his ear. "There's nothing to be sorry about."

He leaned his forehead against hers. "Thank you, Lucy. For everything." He saw the shadows swirling in the corner of his eyes. "I don't know what I'd be doing right now if I didn't have you." He smiled but it didn't quite spread to his whole face.

And she noticed. "Well, I love you. And I'd do anything to help you." She sighed as he closed his eyes tight and tears fell from the corners. "If you don't mind me asking, what are they saying? The voices?"

He exhaled loudly, his breath hot on her face. "Uh... They tell me that I don't deserve you... That I'm a fuck up... That everyone hates me. That everything bad that happens to people around me is my fault... That I'm no good. That I'm nothing. That I'm a sack of shit. That I'm useless and awful. That I'm no body. That I don't deserve someone as special as you."

All she could do was hold him. She held his head to her chest, stroking his hair as his tears fell against her skin. She didn't know what to say or do. She didn't know how to comfort him. She just kept stroking his hair and rubbing circles on his shoulders and back. She did that until he cried himself to sleep 

  
*****

  
_Tear my hands down, pull up the blinds,_   
_Look me in the eye._

Another couple of months flew by. There was the whole thing with Oracion Seis and Lucy didn't want to leave Bickslow, but she knew she had to. Freed and Evergreen took care of him while she was gone. His blackouts came and went. Sometimes they came in clusters of several over a couple days and sometimes they came once a week.

Regardless she still loved him. And he still loved her. 

She asked Freed to help her find some books about Seith magic and he gave her the books. She was reading one while sitting on the couch in Bickslow's living room. She was hoping that maybe learning more about his magic and how exactly it could effect his mind. Maybe she'd be able to help him better.

"Lunch is ready." He held out a plate to her and she closed the book and took the plate from him. He sat down next to her and began to eat. "Find anything interesting?" He liked that she wanted to know more about his magic. It made him feel good.

She nodded as she chewed her food and swallowed. "I was just reading about the different colors of souls and stuff. You've said before that I have a golden soul. Well, apparently that shit is super rare. Like, once a century rare. Anyway, it's just really cool... All the colors and stuff and how you can know all about a person just by looking at their soul and stuff. And I was reading that most of the time, Seith mages end up with Celestial mages. Turns out, they are the most compatible for each other."

He turned to stare at her. She just sat there, eating her food and smiling contently.

"And, it turns out, that Seith mages, if they meet these super rare golden souls, are drawn to them. Kind of like a soul mate. The book didn't use those words, but that's basically the gist of it." She was staring at the fireplace with a huge grin plastered on her face as she continued eating.

"Are you fucking with me right now?" was all he could manage. He'd been drawn to her since he first saw her and that would certainly explain why.

"Now, why would I do that, Bixy baby?"

He took the book from under her plate and opened it to the page she had dog-eared. And he saw the words she was talking about. He closed his eyes and turned his head to face her. When he opened his eyes, they were glowing green with his magic. He just wanted to see her soul: that beautiful golden orb with streaks of light blue stars swirling around it like satellites. He sighed; just seeing it calmed him deep within his own soul. 

"Because you think it's funny to make me squirm. I thought I had a sick fuckin' sense of humor."

She chuckled and looked over at him. She thought about denying it but knew she couldn't. "Yeah. My favorite pastime is most definitely making you squirm. It's fun." She smiled when she saw he was reading more of the book. "You're so cute."

_I know there's something,_   
_I know there's something real._

He smiled at her words. "You're cute. I'm a creeper." He kept reading. "Hmm... Apparently the hearing voices thing is common among Seiths. It comes from... Unacceptance." He furrowed his brow and she scooted closer to look over his shoulder to read. "Unacceptance of my magic."

She stroked his cheek. "Then we'll figure out how to accept it together."

"You accept it. I..." he tried to think of the right words. "I don't hate it, but I definitely don't like it. But now I know that's why I hear voices and shit."

She smiled sadly. "Well... We'll figure this out, okay?" She leaned in to kiss his cheek. All she wanted to do was make him feel better.

He looked at her. "You make me happy. So very happy." 

"You make me happy." 

They finished lunch, did the dishes and read some more. They shared the more interesting points that they read. She just wanted to help him figure out how to accept not only his magic, but himself as well. She wanted him to see himself the way she saw him: amazing, sweet, funny.

She looked over at him and smiled. She loved to just sit and watch him, regardless of what he did. She loved looking at his profile of sharp features, that slight swirl by his eyes. As if feeling her eyes on him, he turned to her slightly without looking away from the book. She smiled when she could see more of his eyes, that beautiful red color swiping over the pages in his lap.

"Would you do something for me? It's a little random, but I thought it might be nice."

His brow furrowed lightly and he looked up at her. "What do you need, baby?"

"I'd like to watch you in your wood working room." She leaned her head against the back of the couch and smiled widely at him.

He chuckled at her expression. "Do you want me to make you something?"

"I'd like that. But what I really want is just to watch you work. I like the look on your face when you concentrate. The way your muscles move when you do things.... I just love that shit."

He smiled at her. "Actually, I do have something for you. It's not finished, but I thought I'd wait until it was." He laughed at her barely contained excitement."I take it you want to see it?" He stood up and held out his hand for her to take. He chuckled at the giddy noises she made as he led her to the spare room where he kept his supplies. He opened the door and let her go in first.

"I like this room. When I move in, maybe I could put my desk in here and we could work on stuff together." She internally cringed at her words. _Dumbass, he's gonna feel like you're rushing him._

He didn't even register her words as maybe rushing him. He admired her from afar for a long time and now she was his. He relished in the idea of her moving in. He looked around the room, trying to figure out the best place to put her desk. "If you'd want to watch me, we might have to do some rearranging."

She smiled widely at those words. If he didn't care, then neither did she. "We'll figure it out then. Now, show me what you made me!" She practically shouted the words. 

He walked over to his wood working table and picked up a box. He turned around and bumped into her, but she hardly seemed to notice. She peered into the box and smiled. She looked up at him, her hands rising to her chest. 

There were two bracelets in it and several handmade charms. Some of the charms were little totems, reminiscent of Bickslow's Babies. The rest of them were symbols that upon further inspection were the symbols on her keys.

"You're making me charm bracelets." Her voice was filled with so much love and joy.

He nodded and put the box back on the table. "I thought it would be... I don't know... Cute to see you wearing little mini Babies."

_Lately I'm haunted;_   
_These shadows hold me here._

She was so happy in that moment nothing could ruin it. And then she saw something change in his demeanor, like a switch was flipped. His eyes became darker, his features hardened. 

He cocked his head at her. "You."

She could tell this wasn't _her_ Bickslow. "You." She reached out and touched his chest, his muscles tensed and relaxed. Part of her was scared, part of her wanted to keep him there to keep him safe. She stood up on her tiptoes and kissed the corner of his mouth. "So, there's something I've been wanting to try... If you want to come with me to the bedroom..." She intertwined their fingers.

He studied her, trying to discover her intentions. Finally he decided to go along with whatever she was planning. He led her to the bedroom. He sat on the bed and watched her as she opened the drawer where she kept her clothes and pulled out leather restraints. She turned to look at him and held them out.

"For you or for me, Cosplayer?"

"I figured we could both do it. We just have to decide who goes first."

He stood up and walked over to her, the hunger in his eyes apparent. He took off her shirt and kissed her. She took of his shirt, her lips only breaking from his for an instant. She leaned into him, making him walk backwards and pushed him down onto the bed.

"Go up to the headboard," she whispered.

He did as told, staring at her while she slowly followed him. She took one wrist and secured it to a pillar, then straddled his chest and did the same to the other wrist. She sighed as her fingers slowly traced the muscles in his chest.

"God, you're handsome." _Even in this state, he's gorgeous._

"What are you gonna do now, Cosplayer?" His grin was as mischievous as they come, and the expression traveled to every inch of his face.

She leaned down, her lips barely touching his. "Whatever I want to, of course." She licked his bottom lip and sat back up.

He groaned as he cocked his head. "Am I allowed to know what that is supposed to entail? Do I have to call you Mistress or some shit?"

She smirked at him. "Only if you want to. I won't object or make you." She undid his pants and pulled them down. She then pulled down his boxers. She leaned down and kissed his shoulder, then up his neck, and to his ear. She licked the outer shell of it and whispered, "Is there anything in particular you want from me?"

"Oh, I think you know what I want."

Before she had the chance to sit up, he sank his teeth into her shoulder. He smiled against her skin as she moaned from the mixture of pain and pleasure. He finally released when she dug her nails into his hips. 

She got off of him and went back over to the dresser with the still open drawer. She grabbed more restraints and turned back towards him. She smiled as she drank him in. She walked over to the bed and put the restraints by his feet. She took off the rest of her clothes.

"Maybe you'll get that if you're good. And if you're not..." She picked up one of the unused restraints and cocked her head towards his feet.

"You're evil."

"I know." She sat on the bed next to him. She reached out and stroked his thigh. She then moved to sit between his legs and began to massage both thighs. She moved her hands up slowly, knowing the wait was killing him. When her fingers began to rub his pelvis with small circles he growled angrily. "Now, now." She smiled as she heard his shaky, deep breath. She looked up at his face, her eyes meeting his. She lowered her head slowly to his erect member and licked the head.

"I'm not a lollipop." 

She furrowed her brow as she slowly licked down him, her tongue grazing his sac. She took one of his balls into her mouth and sucked as hard as she could. Her checks hollowed in and out as he moaned and tried to keep still. She released him from her mouth with a pop and slid her tongue up the underside of his cock. She massaged his sac while putting her lips around the head. She could feel all of his muscles straining to keep in place as she slowly took him into her mouth. She swelled with pride as a slew of curses came from him, knowing that she could make him come just with her mouth if she truly wanted to. She watched his fists clench and unclench as she continued slowly, knowing the best way to torture her lover. 

She slowly lifted her head, his cock falling from her lips. "You're being so good." She continued with her slow movements, going to straddle his hips. She smiled as she felt him twitch when his cock touched her wet core. She leaned down, her face hovering above his, and reached between them to grab his member. He groaned softly as she guided him to where he wanted to go, a guttural growl rising from his throat as she pressed him against her rear entrance. "Is this what you want?" she whispered in a husky voice.

All he could do was nod. He had to use every last shred of self control he still had to not thrust himself into her with all his might.

"Say it."

He loved when she was demanding. "I want to fuck your ass. Please let me." His will was starting to crumble; he was almost shaking beneath her.

With that, she lowered herself into him, moaning loudly as the tight muscles began to accommodate him. She sat up when he was fully sheathed inside her. She titled her head back, closed her eyes, and bit her lip. She moaned again as she started to grind on him; still wanting to move at the _painfully_ slow pace. She began to massage her breasts, pinching her nipples and pulling them.

"Please let me move."

"I'm not done." She lifted her head, eyes clouded by lust.

"Then _please_ let me touch you." He was aching. He needed to do something. If she didn't let him do something soon, he was going to lose control.

"I'm. Not. Done."

  
_Screaming underwater. (SOS)_   
_Can you hear me calling? (SOS)_

He growled; his control no where in sight. He pulled on the restraints and broke the both, leaving Lucy wide eyed and bewildered as he reached up and grabbed her hips. He sat up and kissed her and forced her into her back. He pinned her ankles to her shoulders and began to ram into her. He reached over and grabbed the unused restraints and attached her ankles and wrist. He smirked as she moaned, almost screaming his name.

He reached down and put two fingers in her mouth, groaning as her tongue moved around them like it had his cock. He roughly pulled his fingers from her mouth and plunged them into her wet sex. Her eyes rolled back into her head as his free hand slowly wrapped around her throat. She moaned as he squeezed lightly, knowing she was near her climax.

She wasn't sure how he broke those restraints, but she sure was fucking happy he did.

He moaned as he felt her walls flutter around his fingers and cock. He rubbed hard circles around her clit with his thumb and smiled when breathy curses came from her. He knew he was nearing his own end, but wanted nothing more than to watch her body writhe beneath him.

She yelled his name as her body shuddered. He continued to pound into her, faster and harder, moaning as the orgasm continued to rack her body. He reached his own climax, filling her with hot liquid. His fingers still pistoned in and out of her as he pulled his cock from her. He smirked as her eyes rolled back into her head again. He knew he could give her more intense orgasms if he kept going.

"Are you gonna come again for me?"

"Fuck, yes!" As soon as the words left her mouth, another mind shattering orgasm rippled through her at lightning speed.

He squeezed her throat once more and moaned as he felt her juices drip from her to the head of his semi-erect cock. He smiled triumphantly as he toes curled and she grabbed her feet, digging her nails in. He watched as another orgasm blazed through her and finally stopped his actions.

He was mesmerized by the sight of her: her breasts heavily heaving with every ragged breath she took, hair matted to her forehead by sweat; rosy handprints glowing on her throat.

He undid the restraints and smiled as her legs fell limply to the bed. He cocked his head at her, watching as she still breathed hard.

She finally managed to opened her eyes and looked up at him; it still wasn't her Bickslow. She tried to smile and barely succeeded, mostly because she could barely move _any_ of her muscles. "I thought for sure you were going to leave me tied up and go down on me." She chuckled.

"I thought about it." He studied her face. "You know I'm not him right?"

She nodded as her smile faded away. "Yeah... I know. But I figured he wouldn't be so mad if I kept you here and knew what you did."

He nodded. "He's not mad at you. He understands."

She shot up and then winced, her whole body screaming at the sudden movements. "He's.... Aware?"

He made a juggling like motion and shrugged. "Not really. I told him. I know how he feels about you. And I'm a part of him. What he feels, I feel to an extent. But that's particularly true with negative emotions. So if you were to hurt him, I'd feel that too."

She started to blink heavily, trying to keep the tears away and failing miserably. "I'm so sorry, Bickslow..."

_Did it to myself, now I need your help;_   
_Alone and overboard yelling SOS._

He didn't quite know what to do. Maybe he could calm her down if he explained better. Immediately, the other voice screamed at him not to say anything. "When he.... Obtained his magic, something terrible happened. I won't tell you what because that's his business. But something terrible happened and _that_ event caused him to get his magic. And when that happened, his psyche was fractured... Split in two... Him and me. And until he... Accepts what happened, I guess, we'll stay fractured."

She nodded. That's all she could do. She stared at her trembling hands in her lap. She loved him so much and all she wanted to do was help him. And now that she knew how, she was fairly certain it would be a long and grueling process.

 _'Thank you. For telling her... And not telling her.'_ He laughed softly at the voice in his head. He sighed and put a hand on her shoulder. "It's gonna be okay... Eventually." He put his arms around her and pulled her close, because the voice in his head told him to. _'Comfort her. It's okay. Tell her it'll be okay. Just make her feel okay.'_ He kissed the top of her head. "It's gonna be okay."

She nodded again. She muttered syllables at an attempt at words, which made him laugh. And even though it wasn't her Bickslow, it was still his laugh. She pulled back slightly to look at him. She reached up and stroked his cheek. "When will he come back to me?"

He sighed. It wasn't something they could control. It just happened. There were no triggers, nothing. "I don't know, Cosplayer." That was his name for her, not Bickslow. 

"Can we lay down and cuddle?"

He nodded and scooted them back towards the pillows. He laid down and brought her with him. He pulled her in tight to his chest.

"Don't leave me."

"I won't. I promise." He stroked her hair. "We'll stay here until he comes back. How does that sound, hmm?"

She nodded. "Thank you," she whispered. She kissed his collarbone. 

"Roll over. Let me give you a massage."

She smiled and sighed, complying with his command. "You just wanna fuck again." She moaned softly as his fingertips pressed into her back.

"Maybe. But I will give you a massage first." He chuckled as she moaned again as he pressed into a knot near her shoulder. When he finally got it out, she arched her back and leaned her forehead against his chest. He kissed her forehead as one hand held onto her hip and the other slid between them. "This can't be comfortable."

She shrugged. "It's not the worst. Certainly not the worst I've been in today." 

He smirked at her as he pressed his cock against her rear entrance once again. He bit his lip as she closed her eyes and clenched her jaw. Her eyelids fluttered as his fingers stretched her and slowly slid his cock inside. He watched her pleasure wash over her face as his whole length was in her. He wrapped his fingers around her throat as he picked up the pace.

"Touch yourself."

She moaned at his command, with one hand massaging her breast and the other between her legs. He watched as one set of her fingers pull and twist her nipple. He felt her other digits plunge inside her sex and match his pace. He groaned as he felt her begin to tighten. She began to rock against him, the convulsing orgasm speeding through her. He slammed into her as he reached his own end, filling her once again.

He didn't want to leave her warmth, so he stayed. After a brief reprieve, he began his ministrations again. His grip on her throat tightened as he became hard once again. He watched as the hand between her legs twitched. Her body was shaking, small intense orgasms tearing through. He smirked as he barrelled into her harder.

"Do you like this?" he whispered into her hair.

"Fuck, yes!" Her voice was raspy and soft, almost gone.

He squeezed her throat and watched as her face grew redder. He kept a close eye on her hard and ragged breathing and paid attention to her noises, knowing what she'd do if her limit was passed. He knew he wouldn't last much longer as her body tensed. He quickened his pace, wanting to fill her again. He groaned as her eyes rolled back once more, allowing his own orgasm to come as hers did.

Their ragged breathing filled the room. He pulled himself from her, smiling as she whimpered at the absence. He let go of her throat and watched her straighten her back.

_My hands are shaking,_   
_No body's been here before._

"Will you give me another massage?" She sighed and waited for his response. Her eyes widened as she felt him tense. She sat up and turned around to look at him.

"Lucy?" His eyes were glowing softly.

 _Her_ Bickslow. "Hi, baby." She laid back down facing him. He reached out to cover her eyes and she pushed his hand away. She put her hands on his cheeks and held his face in place in front of hers. "Don't close your eyes. Just look at me."

He sighed and looked into her eyes, her face bathed in green light. "I'm so sorry." He couldn't look anywhere other than her face, feeling guilty about the bruises forming all over her body.

"Don't be. I got to see that side of you. I got to know more about you. I got to learn how to help you. And it's gonna be hard, but we'll get there."

He exhaled shakily. He couldn't say anything. He just let her hold him close, his head against her chest. Her heartbeat filled his head, echoing and bouncing around his thoughts. He closed his eyes as she stroked his hair and massaged his back. She smiled as she felt his breathing slow, sleep finally calming his tense body.

  
*****

  
She smiled down at the book in her lap. "Bickslow!" She wanted to show him. She knew he'd be against it. But she also knew she had her ways to make him say yes.

He was pulled from the concentration from his wood working and turned to look at her. He had brought one of the reclining chairs from the living room and sat it in the corner. "There's no need to shout." He got up and walked over to her, sitting on the arm of the chair. "What's got you all excited?"

"I found a spell." She looked up at him. "It will link our minds." She studied his reaction carefully. She watched as he tried to contain his disdain at the thought. "I just thought it might be easier for you when it came to talking about the past."

He nodded, his jaw clenched tight. "Let me think about it, okay?"

She nodded back at him. "Take as long as you need." She watched as he walked back over to the table and sat on the stool. She sighed softly as his muscles moved with all the small movements he made to carve the details into the charms. She tried not to let the sadness cloud her judgement. She just wanted to help him. And he made it unbearably hard sometimes.

She looked back down at the book. She knew she couldn't just do it anyway. He needed to be there as well. She shook her head, not wanting to do anything against his will.

  
*****

  
_Oh, will you see me?_   
_Is it enough? Will you wake up, pull back the blinds,_   
_Look me in the eyes?_

"What will you do? It's been months since she asked about it. I highly doubt she forgot about it."

Bickslow sighed as he looked at his friends and teammates. They just got back from a mission and we're sitting in Freed's apartment. "I don't know, man." He shook his head and looked into the glass in his hand.

"I know she didn't forget. She asked me if you had said anything about it. _Multiple_ times." Evergreen cocked her head at him." It's okay not to know how to feel about it. But you have to talk with her about it. You guys have been together, what, six months now? She just wants to help, Bix."

He cracked his jaw. "I know she does. But... As much as I want help and as much as I want to tell her things... With that spell, she'd know everything. And that terrifies me. I won't be able to leave out certain details, nothing. She'd know everything about what happened. And I haven't told anyone anything. Not even you guys."

"We know. But still," Freed sighed. "I think you should do it. I know it's hard for you to talk about it. I think it would be better for you. And she would also know everything, as you said. There would be no pieces left out from her. Which I know you would leave some things out."

"He's right. But I don't have an opinion on whether or not you should do it. I think that's between you and Lucy. But I do like her, if it's any consolation." She gave him a wide smile.

He laughed at her, mainly because that partially fake smile looked ridiculous as shit. "That does make me feel better, yes." 

They continued on like that for awhile. They were two of his best friends. And they had his best interests at heart. They were the only family he had. 

And he loved them.

  
*****

  
Lucy watched as everyone hugged Lisanna. She was glad to see her best friend so happy. She was glad Mira and Elfman were happy. Everyone was happy.

She wished she could be happy. But all she could think about was Bickslow. She just wanted to help him get better. She was beginning to wonder if he wanted to get better.

She was jarred from her thoughts as an arm slinked around her shoulders. She turned to look and saw her boyfriend sans helmet.

"Hi, babe." He kissed her temple.

She gave a small smile. "Hey, baby."

"So, I've been thinking... About that spell..."

 _Here it comes. He's finally just gonna say no. Now, what the hell do I do?_ "What about it?" She ran her hand through her hair.

He sighed. "I think we should do it."

Her head shot in his direction. "Are you sure?"

He swallowed and licked his lips. "Yeah. I think it would be good for me."

She could almost feel the anxiety radiating from him. She put her hand on his knee. "Only if you really want to. You know I'll never make you, right."

"I want to. It's just.... It's hard. To let someone in that much. It's scary."

She nodded as she stroked his cheek. "It is. But I want you to know everything. And the thought of not having to actually say some of those things out loud... It makes me feel better." She shrugged. 

_I know there's something._   
_I know there's something real._

He propped his elbow up on the table. "Okay. Let's do it. Tonight. Is that okay?" 

"Okay. Tonight then." She stood up and stretched. "Do you wanna come with me to get the stuff for it?" 

"Why do I feel like you have the list in your pocket and you've just been waiting for me to say yes?" He laughed when her expression confirmed what he said. "You're so weird. But it's okay. I'm weird, too. So let's go be weird together."

She scoffed and laughed at him. She loved him so much. She intertwined their fingers and led the way as they crept out of the party. When they left the guild hall, she sighed.

"You wanna talk about it?"

She looked at him. She thought she had hid her pain well enough to keep a facade with everyone. She should have known that Bickslow would see through it. "Not particularly." She didn't have the energy to even deny it.

"Okay. Lead the way to the store and we'll go back to my place. Unless you took the book to yours." She shook her head. "My house then." 

He followed her around silently, watching her stew as they went to the different stores for all of the ingredients. He knew she had a thing for Natsu way back when, but obviously didn't anymore. But he did notice that since they'd gotten back from Edolas, he's practically ignored everyone except Lisanna. Bickslow saw how they were when they were younger and knew there was something there and how much her death had affected him. Even with that in mind, he didn't think it was fair of him to ditch his best friend. She hadn't been ditching him for Bickslow. She had even made them spend time together, making the Raijinshu and Team Natsu have a game night.

He looked at her, smiling while remembering the disastrous game nights she hosted. He could tell that she was just upset and wanted to spend time with her best friend and it was hurting her. But he knew she didn't want to talk about it. And then remembered that he would be able to know whatever whenever about his girlfriend after tonight.

When they finally got home, it seemed like her bad mood had evaporated away. She laid dramatically on the couch, the back of her hand on her forehead, "Oh, darling, I'm so tired. I couldn't move another muscle."

He couldn't help but laugh at her. He loved when she got weirdly dramatic for no real reason other than to amuse herself. "I feel like you think the funniest person in the world is you."

"Only some days." She sat up and grabbed the book from the coffee table and opened it to one of the pages she had dog-eared, knowing exactly where in the book it was because of how many times she had looked at it. She gestured for him to bring the bags over with everything they needed. "Now, we can either do this in here or outside. Although knowing how you are about cleanliness, it should probably be outside."

He took the book from her as she stuck her tongue out at him. He read the directions for the spell and sighed. "Outside. You know how much I love these floors."

She stroked the tuft of hair above his ear and chuckled. "I know, baby. You love the hardwood floors probably more than you love me."

"No, but they are definitely up there on the list. It's, like: you, my Babies, my team, my floors."

She laughed and he couldn't help but laugh with her. "Well, then. Let's grab what we need and go outside." She went to the kitchen and grabbed a bowl then went outside to his backyard.

He looked up at the moon, sighing as its light bathed his small yard. He looked over at her as she sat on the ground and began to take things from the bags and put them in the bowl. He looked down at the book in his hands and studied the magic circle he needed to draw. He sighed as he focused, clearing his mind; the circle needed to be flawless.

_Lately I'm haunted;_   
_These shadows hold me here._

He finished drawing the circle and looked over at her. He watched as she pulled a few hairs out and put them in the bowl. She waved him over, knowing he needed to do the same. He walked over and reached up into his hair, pulling hard on a few strands and put them in the bowl she held up. He reached down and helped her up. They walked over to the glowing circle in the grass. She stood on one side and he stood directly across from her on the other. She reached out, bowl in hand. She looked into his eyes, making sure he really wanted to do this. He nodded and she dumped the content s of the bowl into the center of the circle.

There was a flash of green and gold, blinding both of them. When the light finally disappeared, so did the magic circle. They looked at each other.

_'Well, that was a huge waste of fucking time...'_

When she heard that, she immediately got excited. _'I don't think so...'_ She smiled at her inner sing-song voice.

He sighed and hung his head. _'Can we do the whole sharing thing tomorrow? I just wanna make love to you and go to sleep.'_

She laughed. Surprised his thoughts were so far similar to what he actually said. She reached out her hand and he took it. They went inside. He closed the door and locked it, also checking the front door as well. They went to the bedroom and he laid down on the bed.

"You're really tired, baby." She smiled as he lazily opened one eye at her.

_'As much as I would love to fuck you, I think that spell took a lot of energy from me. Like, a whole fucking lot. I don't even have the energy to open my mouth and speak. '_

She laid down next to him and kissed his cheek. "Do you want me to take off your clothes? I know you don't really like sleeping in them unless you have to." His eye closed and he nodded. She sat up and undressed him. By the time she finished, he was asleep. She took off her own clothes and laid next to him, bringing the blanket around them. "I love you, Bickslow." She smiled as the corners of his mouth twitched up briefly. She curled up next to him and closed her eyes, falling asleep shortly after.

******

  
She looked around, not recognizing where she was. She was pulled from her confusion by a familiar voice.

"Lucy?"

She turned to see him standing next to her. "Bix, where are we."

He shrugged. "I'm home and you're in my dream." He chuckled as she rubbed her face. "You didn't fully read the effects of the spell, did you?"

She grimaced. "I got too excited and stopped after 'mind-melding.' Oops..."

He laughed as he grabbed her hand. "It's okay, baby." He led her to a small house and took her inside. "This is where I grew up." He gestured to the small room they were in and sat on the couch, pulling her with him.

"I don't expect you to tell me everything now." She curled up into his side and he wrapped his arms around her.

"I know. I will tell you everything when I'm ready. Or rather, show you as this spell we did will allow me to do. But I will tell you a few things now." He kissed her temple and sighed." When I was younger, something happened to me.... Someone I was supposed to be able to trust. And at some point, my father found out. And he was killed. And I saw it. And when that happened... I heard voices offering to help. One of them was my dad's. And all of a sudden, I felt this... Surge of power. And then, I was no longer in control. That fracture in my mind happened."

She pulled away slightly to look up at his face. There were no tears, but the face he was making made her think he was crying. He didn't even have to say more than that. She knew what he was alluding to. She stroked his cheek.

"I love you."

He smiled faintly. "I love you, too."

*****

_Screaming underwater. (SOS)_   
_Can you hear me calling? (SOS)_

She woke up to the smell of food being made. She sat up and stretched her arms above her head.

_'You better not be getting up. I'm making you breakfast in bed. So you better keep your beautiful naked ass in bed. I mean it. '_

She smiled at his words. _'Okay, baby. I'll stay in bed.'_ She looked happily at the tray of food and coffee he brought in a few minutes later. They sat in a comfortable silence while they ate. After they were finished he took the tray back into the kitchen and she went to brush her teeth. She smiled as she heard him walk down the hall and lean against the door frame of the bathroom. She rinsed her mouth out and walked past him back to the bedroom. She laid back down on the bed and waited for him to come back.

"Apparently, we've been sleeping for a couple days."

She shot up and stared at him incredulously. "You can't be fucking serious."

"I woke up a few hours ago when Pappa hit me in the face. He said people were here. Gray and Freed where in the living room. They came to check on us. Told me that we'd been gone for two days. And I said we were sleeping."

She rolled her eyes. "Fuck. Gray was probably pissed."

"He was. Until I said you were sleeping and that's all we'd been doing."

She laughed as he laid down next to her. "Why does he act like I'm a child? Also, we've been together for like seven months now. He needs to accept it."

He sighed. "He does. He's just protective of you. He sees you like a sister. And I get that. I feel the same way about Ever." He shrugged as she draped her arm around his waist. "So, I'm not that upset about it."

She nodded as she began to trace his muscles. ' _I am but I guess I just have to get over it.'_

"It's okay, baby. Just talk to him about it." 

She scoffed, momentarily forgetting her thoughts weren't her own anymore. _'I don't want to talk anymore.'_

_'Okay. Do you want to do something else instead?'_

She sighed. Honestly, she just wanted to sleep some more. 

_'We can do whatever you want.'_ He held her tight. 

She thought for a moment, her thoughts racing as he sat up and hovered over her. His brow furrowed as her thoughts continued to bounce from sleeping to sex and back again, and then randomly to swimming. He watched her face calm as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. He smiled as her mind started to slow with her deep breaths and she she put her hands on his shoulders. His eyes widened as she pushed him down. He chuckled as he listened to her thoughts narrow to one word: _'now.'_

He smirked as she put her thighs on his shoulders and hands in his hair. He kissed up her thighs to her core. He slid his tongue up and down her slit as his fingers went in-between the folds. His tongue drew circles around her clit and his fingers pistoned in and out of her. He sucked on her clit until he felt her spasm around his fingers. He pulled them out and pushed them into her rear entrance. She moaned in delight as his tongue dove inside to taste her. 

She mumbled incoherently as his tongue pressed against that spongey cluster of nerves. She buckled her hips against him, eyes rolling back as his groan vibrated through her. He grazed his teeth against the slick folds as her thoughts were curses slurred together. He smiled as she spasmed again, more violently than before.

 _'Do you feel better?'_ He hummed as her juices coated his tongue and he lapped up all he could.

She moaned. _'That doesn't mean you should stop.'_ She held his head between her legs.

He growled and smiled as she shuddered at the vibrations. His ministrations accelerated. He felt her spasm again, but she still held him in place.

 _'You want more?'_ He smirked as she continued to hold him in place and took a string of curses followed by his name as a yes. He picked up the pace again, willing to grant her wish of making her come until she couldn't anymore. 

Or at least until his jaw started to hurt. _'I love you. And I fucking love pleasing you. And I most definitely fucking love the way you taste. But my jaw is really starting to hurt.'_

_'Make me come one more time and then I'll please you.'_

His fingers and tongue pistoned into her harder and faster than before. He knew that all this hard work would pay off and she'd ride him into oblivion. She spasmed again harder than before and he felt a hot liquid gush out of her and down his chin.

Her body relaxed and she finally released him. He planted wet kisses up her stomach and then laid next to her. He looked at her face, relaxed and peaceful and her breathing leveled out. He smiled as she finally opened her eyes.

"You definitely feel better, _Squirt_." He chuckled as he listened to her thoughts conjured images of him inside her.

' _I want to please you but my body is jelly.'_

He smirked as he rolled her over and pulled her close to him. He kissed her shoulder as he reached between them to his throbbing member. She arched her back against him as he pressed into her wet folds. He groaned as she spasmed around his whole length. He thrusted into her hard and she screamed his name.

He wrapped his fingers around her throat and turned her head slightly. He licked the shell of her ear and whispered, "I'm gonna fuck you and fill you up with my come. You definitely won't be able to move when I'm done with you." He reached around with his free hand and found her slick mound.

He bit her ear as a string of "fucks" fell from her lips and clouded her mind. He squeezed her throat as her legs started to shake. His pressure on her neck relented as he felt her spasm and squirt. Feeling the hot liquid rush over his cock damn near sent him over the edge. 

"I fucking love that you squirt now." He bit her ear and squeezed her throat hard enough to make her gasp then relented his grip. He groaned when he felt her walls clench around him. His cock twitched as she spasmed again and he filled her.

She smiled as he crumpled around her, all his muscles relaxing. She turned her head slightly to kiss his forehead as his hands fell from her. "I love you."

"I love you too, Lucy." He tried to pull himself from her but she reached around to hold him in place by his hips. He groaned as her hips rocked against him. "I'm not getting any rest, am I? Just fucking you all day long? Not that I mind that. Just some rest in between would be nice."

"Fine. But you have to stay inside me." She snuggled up to him as his arm draped over her waist.

"'kay then. I'll stay put. Just let me take a nap. Then when I wake up, I'll fuck you again." His eyes closed as she moaned happily. 

******

_Did it to myself, now I need your help,_   
_Alone and overboard yelling SOS._

She smiled when she finally felt him stir after his nap. She rolled over, letting him finally fall out of her core. She lightly rolled him into his back. She smiled at his dream: them going on a mission together and sleeping in the woods and making love under the stars. She sat between his thighs and started to massage them. And then she stopped when she saw his dream. 

A man came up to them at the camp they had set up and ripped her away from him and snapped her neck. It didn't hurt, but she couldn't move; she could only watch. The man punched Bickslow in the face repeatedly, making blood trickle from his nose and mouth. He threw him into the ground and rolled him over. She felt the tears roll down her face as she watched the strange man pull down his pants and then Bickslow's.

Lucy screamed. It's all she could do. She hoped and prayed he could hear her. She knew he did when she saw they were back in his room. He sat up slowly and she put her arms around his shoulders and pulled him in close.

"Baby, I am so sorry," was all she could manage to get out of her mouth. She felt him sob against her chest as her own tears fell down her cheeks.

He pulled her closer to him, as close as he could get her. The sweat on his skin made her stick to him but neither cared at the moment. He was okay with telling her that happened, or maybe even showing her a memory or part of it--not wanting to relive it entirely. He wasn't going to tell her that he dreamed of it happening to him as an adult. He hated it, and himself. He was ashamed.

"Don't be ashamed, my love. You didn't want that to happen then. And you don't want it to happen now. I don't understand what you're going through, but I'm here. I didn't have that happen to me. Other not so great stuff did, but never anything like that. And I am so sorry that it happened to you. You are one of the most beautiful and strongest people I've ever met. You weren't able to save your father, but you did save his soul. And he has been with you every day since."

_'I'm not sure what that last bit has to do with anything before it but okay... It still makes me feel better... How do you do that? Know exactly what I need to hear to feel better?'_

"Because I know you. And I love you. And I'd do anything to make you smile, to make you happy."

_I know I want you, but I'm drowning in fear._   
_I know I want you but I'm drowning in fear._

He sighed and the sobs finally stopped. He looked up at her. "I don't know what I did to deserve you. But I'm glad I have you. I love you, too."

She kissed his forehead. She stroked his hair, feeling his smile against her chest. She smiled when his thoughts finally became positive again: _'Her fucking tits are so goddamn soft and glorious.'_ She blushed at the fantasy that flashed through his mind. She thought about it and felt him tense.

"I am so sorry, Lucy." He kept forgetting about the spell and the mind-melding it caused.

"It's fine, baby." She breathed deeply. _'If it's something he wants to try, then I guess I can let him...'_

She gasped as he pushed her back onto the bed and got on top of her. She looked into his eyes as they hovered above her own, crimson meeting chocolate. She nodded and smiled at him as he straddled her waist.

He reached down to knead her breasts, smiling as she moaned softly. He squeezed them and then smirked as he smushed them together. He gently thrust his hard cock between them and groaned at the feeling. His thrusting sped up slightly as she tried to watch him. When she finally did with her chin against her chest, she watched with wide eyes as his cock poked between her breasts and pressed against her lips. She whimpered as it disappeared again. She put her hands on his his ass and when his cock peeked out again, she pushed him closer and took him into her mouth. His eyes closed as a low growl crept up his throat.

He got off of her and stood up next to the bed. He grabbed and dragged her across the bed until her head was hanging off in front of him. He thrusted back into her open mouth, moaning as she took his whole length. He reached down and grabbed her breasts as he continued to piston into her. He groaned as her fingers massaged his sac. His head fell back and eyes closed when her teeth raked against the tip. He knew he wasn't going to last much longer when her tongue swiped over every inch of him. He gave one more hard thrust to the back of her throat and groaned as the release filled her mouth. 

He pulled himself from her mouth and spun her around so her legs hung off the bed. He positioned himself between her thighs and leaned down to kiss her. One of his hands pinned one of her legs down while the other cupped her hot sex. She moaned as she felt his fingers slide into her, not just her core but back entrance as well. She buckled her hips against him, begging him to thrust the digits into her harder. He obliged and felt her clench and spasm around his fingers. He smirked when he felt the now familiar gush against his fingers. He bit her lip and held it as she moaned loudly and she reached down to stroke his member.

He rolled them over, listening to her silent pleas to be on top of him. His breath hitched as his arousal grew in her hand. She whimpered softly when his fingers left her, but knew she wouldn't be empty long. She impaled herself with his whole length and moaned as his fingers rubbed her clit. He put his other hand on her hip and she planted hers on his chest.

Her hips bucked against him wantonly and aggressively. She moaned as he rolled his hips to meet hers. He bit his lip as he felt the familiar spasm that came before her gush, the liquid dripping down to his sac. The satin soft and wet feeling of her almost had him ready to meet his end.

_'It's okay if not every time is long. I'm okay with you not lasting very long as long as I can have more when you're ready.'_

Now that he had her permission, his cock twitched violently inside her and filled her once again. She smiled down at him as her own orgasm milked every drop from him. She leaned down and kissed him, moaning into his mouth softly as his fingers still rubbed her clit. She bit his lips as she gushed against him again. 

"I think I might need another nap." He chuckled as she slid off of him and laid down.

"I think I might need sleep." She laughed as he moved to be next to her and covered them with the blanket then immediately discarding it. "Remind me to do laundry later." She watched him walk over to the closet and grab a blanket from it. She sighed as he cuddled next to her, his head against her chest.

"I can do it. You want sleep and I want a nap. I feel like you deserve it because you fuck like a champ."

She smiled and laughed at his words as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "You're a weirdo."

"Says you, Squirt."

"I swear, if you call me that in front of people, I will hurt you."

"Promises, promises." 

She kissed his forehead, her mind unintentionally thinking of his dream earlier, then shook that from her head.

"It's okay. To think about it. I don't like it, but I understand it... I think. But I can handle it sometimes. And sometimes I can't. Earlier I couldn't. Right now, I probably can."

"I don't want you to get upset. We can talk about it when you're ready. I love you, Bix. And it's okay. There's stuff I don't like talking about either."

_I know I want you, but I'm drowning in fear._   
_I'm finally ready;_   
_Help me up out of here._

He looked up at her as images flashed through her head. Mostly of a young boy beating a young Lucy. He frowned slightly as the images became more and more clear.

She sighed as she heard his mind race with questions. "He's the son of one of the maids. He lived with her in the servants' quarters. He had his own issues. He was gay and his dad was trying to beat him straight. And he took it out on me. We were friends, and then he started to do that. He never hit me in the face, too chicken shit for that." She swallowed then exhaled. "It happened for a few years. Until when we were fourteen, he killed himself. And even though he was doing that to me, his dad did worse to him. And I just kept thinking that... I don't know. I guess if I had been a better punching bag, he'd still be here. He was my friend. And I felt his pain. I saw it every day. And most days, I feel a little guilty that he's gone. Like it's my fault."

He wanted to ask how it was her fault but shrugged it off and could see she was grateful for that. He rubbed little circles up and down her sides. "I'm sorry, babe." He turned his head slightly to kiss her collarbone. "I know what it's like to be abused like that. That's how it started with my uncle... So I understand what it's like to still love someone when they do that to you. And I still loved him. Up until he... Yeah. I just understand." 

He tried to think if a way to lighten the mood. "You called me 'my love' earlier.... I liked that. I'd like it if you did more often. You don't have to do it all the time... I just like the way it sounds." He sat up and looked down at her. "My love." He stroked her cheek and she kissed his palm.

"I can do that. _My love_." 

_Screaming underwater. (SOS)_   
_Can you hear me calling? (SOS)_

He smiled against her chest and kissed her. Those two words made the memories of the past easier to deal with. She made him want to be better. He thought about the future he'd have with his soulmate: little blue haired, brown eyed girls and blond, crimson eyed boys. He smiled at her breathy giggle. 

"We would have beautiful kids." She chuckled. "We'll think about that in a few years."

He leaned his head back and sighed. "Mavis, those kids are gonna be fucked up."

She laughed. "Eh, probably. But at least they'll be pretty." She shrugged and looked down at him. "We'll deal with when it comes. I love you."

"I love you too." He craned his neck to kiss her. "I love you so much. And I'm glad I have you. I'm glad you're my soulmate."

She smiled and nuzzled her nose against his. "Me, too, baby."

_Did it to myself now I need your help,_  
 _Alone and overboard yelling SOS_. 


	3. Blood and Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucy and Bickslow continue to learn new things from each other as the S-Class trials approach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My imagination ran away with me on this one. Sorry not sorry. There's a lot of sex and even a foursome at one point. My bad. Hashtag no regerts.

_Could we ever leave each other?_   
_Maybe the valley's wider,_   
_Maybe it's longer than we thought._

  
Bickslow looked around. He was in a place he had never been before, but somehow it felt familiar. He walked down the long white marble hall when he felt a tug on his sleeve. He looked down and saw a little Lucy. She was crying and blubbering words he couldn't quite understand. He picked her up and held her close.

"Where do you want me to take you, baby?" He watched as her arm pointed in front of them. "Just point the way." He followed her directions until he found a light pink door. Her opened the gold door handle and walked inside.

The whole room was pink. An uncomfortable amount of pink. Just shades of pink. Everywhere. The large bed had copious amounts of stuffed animals that spilled onto the floor. In the middle of the room was a small table with two chairs. In one chair, was a little boy with dark green hair. He turned to look at them with a large smile on his face.

"Lucy! Lucy!" He ran up to them and jumped to try and get her attention, but she just kept her face buried in Bickslow's shoulder.

"I don't think she wants to play, buddy."

"But she promised. She said that whenever I'd come to visit her, we'd be together."

Bickslow couldn't help but melt at the little boy's sad face. "In that case," he nudged Lucy and she lifted her head slightly. "You always keep your promises, don't you?"

She sighed and pouted. "Yes. But I didn't think he'd come to see me _all_ the time. I told him that _after_ he died. He won't go away." She buried her face again, squeezing him tighter.

He turned to look at the little boy. He realized this was the boy Lucy had told him about, the one who hurt her. He sighed and thought for a moment. "Remember what you told me the other day?" He kissed her hair. "About him? Why don't you tell him how you feel?"

She lifted her head up. She stared at him and finally nodded. He put her down and sat on the bed, watching as the two children sat at the table and had tea.

"What's he talking about, Lucy?"

She sighed and closed her eyes. Bickslow smiled as she changed into the grown up woman he loved. "This is my boyfriend, Bickslow. And I told him about what you did to me, Meecah."

He sat silently, staring at her. Eventually, he aged a little as well. He had curly hair just past his ears. His eyes were so blue that they made Juvia seem pastel in comparison. He sighed as he ran his hands through his hair. He was finally able to look into her eyes. "I figured as much..." He stared at his hands, waiting expectantly for her to say what she needed to.

"You were my best friend. And you did something awful to me. For years. You could've told me what was going on. I would've found a way to help you. The other servants would have helped you. Instead, you hurt me. Over and over and over again. When you broke my arm, I had to make up some bullshit excuse to my dad, not that he fucking cared." She sighed as she blinked away the tears that were starting to form. "I would've done anything for you, Meecah. _Anything._ And the way you treated me was unfair. I was nothing but kind the whole time. I'd let you come back again and again, thinking it wasn't gonna happen again.

"You broke my heart in ways that you will never be able to comprehend. After years of dealing with what you did, I finally decided that I had enough. But I still wanted you as my friend." The tears fell freely as she reached out and touched his hand. "That morning, I had come up with the idea that we would tell your dad that I was your girlfriend and I'd be your beard. For as long as you needed me to be. I was so happy that I might get to see you smile again. And I went to find you..." Her body was racked with sobs. She knew Bickslow wanted to comfort her and silently thanked him for not doing so.

"I found you, cold and lifeless. Blood everywhere. With two letters. One to your mom and one to me. I still have that fucking letter. Why didn't you tell me how you felt? Hm? Why the fuck didn't you tell me?" She was almost screaming at the end. She stood up and kicked the table away. She lifted him up by his shirt. "Why the fuck did you leave me? I needed you and you left. You left me with so many unanswered questions." She let him go and dropped to her knees.

He stared down at her. "I'm sorry."

"Oh, he's _sorry_ everyone! He's _sorry!_ Since he said sorry, it's all okay, right? That meant his mom's sadness was unjustified. It meant that my anger and sadness were unjustified." She looked up at him angrily. Even if they weren't connected in the way they were, Bickslow would still be able to feel the raw, unbridled anger that radiated from her.

"I didn't mean it like that, Lucy. I was... I was hurting in ways that I didn't think anyone would understand. I was tired of everything. I felt like you wouldn't want to talk to me after everything I did..."

"You never tried!" Her voice was so loud, it shook the crystal chandelier.

"I know. And I will never be able to make that up to you. I wish there was someway for me to fix everything. But there's not. I did what I did and I can't take it back. No amount of guilt or anger will bring me back." He reluctantly touched her shoulder. "No amount of apologies can make up for what I did to you." He stood up and walked away, slowly disappearing as he went. 

Bickslow slowly got up and sat on the floor next to her. He put a hand on her back and rubbed her soothingly to try and calm her down. He sighed as she slid into his lap. He put his arms around her and held her close. He stroked her hair as the sobs got less violent.

She finally raised her head and wiped her face with her sleeve. "Thank you, baby." She rested her head on his shoulder. She sighed. "That fucking sucked."

"I know, baby." He turned and kissed her forehead.

She lifted her head quickly and then stood up. He listened to her thoughts as she started pacing. He sighed, not really wanting to do anything she was suggesting, but knew this was something she wouldn't budge on.

"You're right, I won't." She wagged a finger at every syllable.

He chuckled as he stood up, watching the scenery around them change. "Lucy, why are we in a maze?"

"It's a labyrinth. It was in my backyard. I'd play there when I wasn't bothering Aquarius or with Meecah." She walked off at a brisk pace and he followed quickly behind.

"Are your dreams always this strange and hectic?" He cocked his head at a smiling, spinning daisy and sneezed.

"Bless you. And yeah.. they, they kind of are. I never really noticed it."

He used his Figure Eyes and stared at her. He studied her soul closely until he found what he was looking for: small flecks of purple in the blue streaks and stars around the golden orb.

She rolled her eyes as she heard him mumble about the color purple and how one of the things it represented in souls was imagination. She continued to walk, with him trailing behind her. She chuckled as he marveled at the weird world of her dreams.

"I'm still confused as to how you went from confronting my uncle to this hedge maze."

"Labyrinth."

"Whatever." His tongue lolled from his mouth as his Babies swooped him up.

She looked over and saw him floating on them, finally able to keep up with her. "Cheater." She laughed as he made a face at her. "I'd come here to think. It would help. I'd be able to work through things as I walked through the labyrinth. Even when I face a problem now, I just imagine being here and it helps me." She shrugged and stopped. "And I don't want you to confront him. Just... Do like I did with Meecah."

He sighed and looked at her. He hated to admit but she had a point. But he was still at the point that he froze when he saw he uncle in his dreams.

"Baby, I'll be with you. I'm not gonna let him do anything."

His shoulders drooped. "I can't do it. Not yet, anyway..."

She smiled and stroked his cheek. "It's okay. It's hard. I know." She laughed softly, solely trying to cheer him up. 

She opened her eyes and looked over to see his brow furrowed deeply. She touched the person shaped tattoo and smiled as the wrinkles went away. She sighed as he opened his eyes.

"When did you get this? I keep meaning to ask."

He reached up and moved her fingers to the edge of the mark, the raised edge of a scar. "When I got my magic, it kind of branded me. I don't know why it went in the _middle of my face_ but I guess that just happens randomly. But a couple years ago, we got, uh... High. And Laxus thought it would be a great idea to go get tattoos. So we did. And I decided to make that weird stick man scar on my face a little less ugly. And we got done in the middle of the fucking night but Laxus was so excited that he had to show someone right then. So, we went to go see Cana, who was awake and drinking and here comes me and Laxus, all coked out to the heavens. And he rips off his shirt the moment he walks in, right. And she's just nodding her head at him. And then I take off my hood and show her and she did the same thing. And then we got drunk and fell asleep on the floor... Ahh, that was fun." 

He looked back at Lucy, who was smiling at both his retelling of the story and the replaying of the memory in his mind. "What?"

"You're so cute..." She smiled as she watched his memories play back. And then she saw Cana, _a lot_ of her. "Oh, my gods." She smirked at him. "I mean, hey. She's a fucking babe." She chuckled. "Awe, she was your first love. That's so cute."

He blushed and then it faded as quickly as it appeared. "Yeah, but I'm pretty sure she hates me right now. Freed told me awhile ago that she saw us together while we were still keeping us a secret. He said she was coming to ask your opinion and advice on the matter of her still having feelings for me and what she should do about it. And I think to also check on you after Fantasia. And she saw us." He groaned. He still felt so guilty. He didn't know that she still had feelings for him. Yeah, they had hooked up a few times in the year between their breakup and him getting with Lucy.

"Oh, my gods, Bickslow! You would sleep with her after you guys broke up because she initiated it? That means she still has feelings!" She sat up, feeling guilty. Cana hadn't said anything to her about it. And she felt bad. Cana was one of her best friends.

"She didn't say anything 'cause she's got really bad anxiety. When I first told her how I felt, she had a panic attack because she thought I was messing with her."

She slapped her forehead. "I'm so fucking stupid! I didn't notice! She doesn't seem like she has bad anxiety."

"But she does. I've seen it. She'd call on Laxus and he'd help her out a lot. And now he's gone. And I'm with you. And I don't think she has anyone she can talk to." He sighed." I feel like shit now." He covered his face.

"We should invite her over."

"We should not."

She turned and hit his chest. He sat up and stared at her. "If all she had as support was you and Laxus... She needs to know at least one person is there who cares. And I can tell that you do."

"But I don't want her to get the wrong idea..."

"Why would she get..." And then Lucy remembered that she had _drunkenly_ hooked up with Cana a couple times. "She wouldn't get the wrong idea. And if she did, she wouldn't follow through. She doesn't like to share." Lucy grimaced as she recalled the time Cana told her about a failed threesome.

Bickslow laughed. "Yeah, I know. But still." He sighed. "Can't you just be her support?"

"She hasn't told me about her anxiety. How can I support something I don't know about?"

"But you do. I told you. We're talking about it now." He was so confused. He watched her get up and go to her purse on the floor under the window. She grabbed the small lacrima communicator and contacted Cana.

"What?" The brunette looked angry.

"Did I wake you up?" Lucy grimaced and flinched.

"Yes. Now what the fuck do you want?"

She sighed. "Always lovely to talk to you in the morning. Bickslow and I were wondering if you wanted to come over to hang out with us today?"

"Lucy, I love you. But why would I want to hang out with my ex? Oh, that's right. I don't."

"Cana, be nice."

Lucy was startled to see Freed pop up behind her. "What time were you thinking?" His eyes lit up. "Oh, can we play board games?"

She chuckled as Bickslow groaned. "Sure, but as you know, Bix doesn't have very many games. So I would recommend bringing some over. But anytime you guys want."

"He needs a time, Luce. Part of his rules." Bickslow sat up and stared at her.

"Uh.. anytime after one. How's that?"

The green haired man smiled widely. "We will be there at one! Bye now!" The orb cleared.

She went over to the bed and sat down while putting the lacrima on the nightstand. "Did you know about them?"

"Yeah."

"Is it serious?"

He sighed. "Freed doesn't seem to think so. It's more of a convenience thing. That and apparently they're both _really_ into BDSM and are glad to have a partner who's equally as into it."

"Does he even like girls? I definitely thought he was gay."

"Depends on the girl. She has to meet a certain criteria. Laxus and I tried. By the way, Cana has now slept with three of the four members of my team. Just a fun little FYI." He chuckled." Honestly, I think she'd try to seduce Ever just say she slept with all the Raijinshu." He shrugged.

She pursed her lips. She just wanted her friend to be happy. She deserved it. She didn't want her friend to be with someone if she wasn't happy.

"Oh, they're not together. They just fuck. _A lot_. Like, more than we do. And Freed thinks she's fucking someone else too. She just goes off sometimes in the middle of the night and comes back all fucked up." He shrugged. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say Laxus, but I doubt he'd come back just for that."

She sighed. She looked at him. He was chewing his cheek and thinking if Laxus would really come back just to have sex with Cana. She put her hand on his cheek to try and stop the chewing. "Hey, it'll be okay. We can ask her about it when they get here."

"Not in front of Freed. He won't admit it, but he really likes her. And also it would cause her to have a panic attack. So, pull her aside and ask her if you really want to." He sighed as he got up. He walked over to the closet and contemplated taking a shower, deciding not to as they had day before and they surprisingly didn't have sex the night prior.

"We did earlier in the day, though." Lucy giggled as she recalled the long session they had which caused them to shower and go to bed exhausted.

He wagged his finger at her, thinking 'exactly' as he grabbed a shirt. He put it on and turned to see her still in bed. "Seriously, this was your fucking idea. I don't want to do this. I love Freed, and I already told him not to get involved with Cana. She's like organized chaos." He shook his head as he grabbed a pair of pants. "I love her. I always will. But she's a lot. I thought I was a lot. But she's a lot."

Lucy studied him, wondering what exactly made him say that about Cana. She felt like a bad friend for not picking up on Cana's anxiety. She was almost at a loss as to why he didn't feel guilty for saying those things.

He sighed as her questions swirled around his head. He put on his pants then went to sit on the bed. "When two broken people date, it's.... It's not good. Someone ends up worse, maybe even both do. That was it in our case. I guess she felt like she needed to bottle up her anxiety and put her own feelings on hold for me and my issues. And she just... Something changed in her. She retreated into herself, almost. And it made me sad. Because that wasn't the girl I fell in love with." He smiled softly as he felt her fingers rub soothing circles on his back.

"I'm sorry, baby."

"Don't be. It was a long time ago. And I've moved on. It's sad that she hasn't and that's what I feel guilty about. Like, I did something to lead her on."

"But you did." She shrugged and stood up and went over to the closet. He told her to bring more clothes over so she'd stop wearing his. She smiled as she felt his arm around her waist. 

He reached in the closet past her and grabbed a blue pinstripe dress and held it out in front of her. "Will you wear this, please?"

She smiled as she took it from him. She went over to the dresser and pulled out a pair of panties and a bra. She put them all on and spun around to model it for him. It was unlike most things she wore, mostly in the sense that it was a halter maxi and covered most of her. She sighed happily as he smiled and thought 'beautiful.'

"What time is it, baby?" She walked past him to go to the bathroom and brush her teeth.

"It's twelve thirty."

She groaned and then realized why he was rushing her. When she was finished in the bathroom, she ran back into the bedroom and grabbed her keys to summon Cancer. She didn't feel like doing her hair herself and he always loved doing it.

Bickslow went to the bathroom as the strange crabman appeared and began to do Lucy's hair. He hoped he would be gone by the time he went back in there. The crabman was one of his least favorite of her Spirits, followed very closely by horsehead.

Lucy smiled at the nicknames he gave her Spirits. Some were obvious, like crabman and horsehead. Others were something else entirely, like he called Virgo 'pet.' 

She thanked Cancer when he finished and he went back to the Spirit World. She walked out of the room and saw Bickslow standing next to the door frame.

"I hope you know Freed will come early. Meaning they both will. And by early, I mean like now." He smirked as she groaned and walked into the living room, making sure it wasn't a mess.

She smiled when there was a knock on the door. She practically ran to open it. "Welcome! Come in, please." She closed the door behind them after they walked in. She smiled as Freed walked over to Bickslow and began to whisper. She turned to her friend. "Hi, Cana." She put her arms around her in a tight embrace and wondered why she wasn't met with the usual reciprocity.

"Hi." Cana's voice was softer than Lucy had ever heard it, never even knowing the brunette had quiet in her. Her uncharacteristically shy demeanor threw Lucy for a loop. She didn't have the energy or the heart to put up her usual facade.

"Are you okay?" Lucy was genuinely concerned and hoped Cana would believe it.

"Not particularly, no. I'm here with the guy I'm fucking at the guy I'm still kind of in love with's house. And that guy is dating my best friend. So, tell me, how do you think I'm doing? If I know Bickslow as well as I think, he told you about us and my anxiety. Probably this morning, prompting your invitation. How am I doin' so far?"

Lucy stared wide eyed at her friend. She had never heard her speak in that tone before. She didn't even have words to respond with, causing a sharp nod and knowing look from the other woman.

Just then, Cana started to hyperventilate, her eyes darting around the room. She walked backwards until she sank into a corner and closed her eyes as she covered her face. Lucy just stared as Bickslow walked up and knelt down in front of her. He rubbed her shoulder.

_'Can you get a couple of beers from the fridge, please?'_

Lucy ran into the kitchen, flung open the fridge, grabbed a couple of beers, slammed it shut, and ran back over to Bickslow. She handed him both beers. He opened one and held it out for Cana to take, poking her arm with it. She took it with a shaky, unsteady hand and drank almost the whole thing.

Tears were streaming down her face as she looked at Lucy. "I know I'm a bad friend. And I'm sorry. But I can't. I'm so happy for you both and I'm glad you found someone that makes you happy. But that doesn't make it hurt any less. It doesn't make the voices in my head stop yelling that I'm a failure who will never be whole. I just want them to be quiet, but they won't. They make me overthink everything. They make me feel like I don't deserve anything. Even though I'm finally starting to move on, it..." She tried to stifle the sobs as Freed came to sit next to her.

"When we walked in, all I could hear were the voices telling me that I will never have someone look at me the way he looks at you. That no matter what I do, I will never make someone as happy as you two make each other." She flinched slightly as Lucy got down and reached out to touch her, causing her hand to retreat. "I'm so sorry I snapped at you. What's wrong with me is different than what he has. He has good days. I haven't had very many good days since he broke up with me. And before him, I hadn't had a good day since I was thirteen.

"I am always unsure and second guessing myself and everyone else. I question people's motives when they speak to me. I question whether the people I call my friends are really my friends. I hate myself." For the first time in a long time, she said what she was feeling. She said it out loud. To someone else. Who was actually listening to her. "So much in this world makes me anxious. Even certain colors make me anxious." She covered her face as Freed put his arm around her.

_Even though we just got started,_   
_I know there's a hundred mountains._   
_It'll take more than we've got._

"It's okay. I'm here now. And you can talk to me whenever you need to. You can come over whenever you need to. Even if you just want someone to get shit faced with you because you don't want to be alone. You're my best friend. I love you, okay?" Lucy reached out and took Cana's hands from her face. She smiled at her friend, the only way she truly knew how to reassure others. "I'm here for you. And this asshole is too." She nodded at Bickslow and Cana laughed softly. "We love you. And we just want you to feel okay. No matter what that entails." She smiled as Bickslow began to curse her through their shared brain waves.

"Thank you." She sniffled as Freed kissed her temple. She tried to smile, but found it still quite hard for her to achieve. Bickslow pat her arm knowingly. He knew her well enough to know that conveying emotions, even small gestures like a smile, was hard for her after a panic attack. She finished the beer and he handed her the other one. She took a few large, slow gulps. She was finally able to force a weak smile onto her face.

"Oh, please don't do that. I love you, but please don't make that face again. It makes me nervous."

She chuckled as Lucy looked away dramatically, a real smile sitting on her lips. "Okay." She sniffled again as she looked at Freed. She brushed the bangs away from his eyes. "I'm sorry I ruined this. I know you were looking forward to it."

"It is quite alright. I didn't know you had these feelings. I'm glad I got to witness it. I'm not glad that you have them, however. I just want you to be _you_ around me. Not what you think I want you to be. Not what you think you should be. Just you. Because you're beautiful."

Lucy smiled. Bickslow was right about Freed having strong feelings for Cana. But she sensed the brunette had feelings for someone else. She also suspected that he was right about Laxus as well.

_'What makes you say that?'_

She smiled as he visibly relaxed. He was okay with her still having feelings; to him, it was natural because they were each other's first love. But he was not okay with the possibility of her still being in love with him. _'If she was still in love you you, she'd be a little different. I don't think she'd be as relaxed. I don't even think Freed could've talked her into coming. I don't think she'd be okay with having you as someone she can count on again... It's just a feeling, I guess. But I don't feel like she likes him the way he likes her. She has feelings, yeah. But... I don't know how to explain it. We'll talk about it later when I can actually think about it.'_

He turned to look at her and nodded, an action not missed by Freed. The green haired mage lit up. "Oh, you did the spell! What is it like? Tell me everything."

"It's like there's not anything that can come between us. Like... I don't know, man. Like there's only one brain between us. There's no privacy or secrets. Everything is there. I personally like to rummage through her memories while she's sleeping and I'm awake. Also, it's funny when she realizes the spell can let her do certain things now. Like she didn't fully read through that when she found it."

"It's because I didn't and you know and like to rub it in my face like the big ol' asshole you are." She smiled at him and reached out to stroke his cheek.

"You guys are fucking disgusting. Mavis, I'm not even mad about you guys being together anymore. That spell only works if you're _actually_ soulmates." Cana chuckled as the two of them looked at each other quizzically. "Apparently _you_ didn't read it all the way through, Bix."

He chuckled and turned to look at her. "How do you know about the spell?"

"Where do you think Freed got the books from? I was curious about your illness because it sounded like it coincided with the emergence of your magic. So, naturally I thought the two were connected. I found that and thought about approaching you with it. But I never did."

He nodded and sighed as he reached out to touch her knee. "I have owed you an apology for a long time now... I'm sorry. For everything that happened."

She shrugged. "Don't be. I did what I did and it pushed you away. Can't change it now." She sighed. "Besides, I spend too much time worried about the present and future to worry about the past." She watched as Lucy took the bag of games from Freed and took them to the coffee table. She whimpered as he got up to go help Lucy do whatever she was doing. She sighed as she watched him walk over. Then her eyes landed on Bickslow. He was upset with her for some reason that she was unsure of.

He looked behind him to see how far they were from Freed, then leaned in closer to her. "Are you fucking Laxus?" his angry whisper was almost a low growl.

She closed her eyes and covered her face. She knew she didn't even have to give him a verbal confirmation. He knew her well enough to know what her body language meant. And she knew he was telling Lucy, if she wasn't already listening in; as the spell could allow them to hear through the other's ears and see through their eyes. But from what Bickslow said, she probably didn't know she could do that.

Lucy excused herself from Freed and came over to Cana and reached her hand down to pull her up, confirming Cana's intuition. She sighed as Lucy excused them both from the room and pulled her into the familiar bedroom and closed the door behind them.

"Are you fucking serious, Cana?" She wasn't upset at her friend for doing it. She understood her friend. But from what Bickslow had been telling her about the relationship between Cana and Laxus, it seemed to her that he was using her friend. And that's what made her upset. 

She sighed. "Yeah. After Bickslow broke up with me, I was a fucking wreck. I had lost my best friend. But I still had one friend I could confide in. And that was Laxus. He was always really sweet to me. Even when he was being a jerk to everyone else... even making sure he wouldn't have to fight me during Fantasia... One night, a couple months after Bickslow broke up with me, I went over to Laxus' house. I was so drunk, probably one of the times that I can actually say I was drunk. And it happened... He was so good to me... And then he got kicked out of the guild."

She sat on the bed and Lucy sat next to her. "I will always love Bickslow. But I will always love Laxus more. Yes, Bickslow was my first love." She sighed shakily, trying to fight of the panic attack that was threatening to break free. She hated talking about her feelings, but Laxus told her to find someone she could talk to other than him; he wouldn't always be available to her anymore. "But Laxus... He was my first time. He was my best friend before Bickslow and after. I just love him so much." 

She chuckled as she heard Bickslow yell 'I fucking knew it' followed very closely by Freed asking him if he was going through an episode. She smiled as Lucy hit her forehead and groaned. She knew all too well what it was like to be with Bickslow and his sometimes larger than life emoting.

"I love Freed. I truly do. But I'm not in love with him. But I think he feels the same about me. Funnily enough, I think we're both in love with the same person." She blushed as she thought of the brooding hulk of a blond. She missed him. It had been a month since she'd seen him, but he still tried to talk to her every night.

"I don't know, Cana. I think his feelings for you are pretty strong."

"Bickslow, ask him."

She heard a loud groan from the other room, causing her to smirk. She heard Freed cough uncontrollably, something she found he did when he was insanely uncomfortable. She beamed triumphantly as Lucy's shoulders sank a little.

"Okay, you're right. He's not in love with you either. Also, they're coming in here now." 

Bickslow barged in and walked up to Cana, wagging his finger in her face. "I fucking knew it. That fucking guy... I can't believe him." He, like Lucy, was more mad at Laxus. Mostly because he hadn't come to see any of his team _one single time._

Cana somewhat retreated into herself when she saw Freed's expression. And then he spoke to her in a firm voice. "I suppose I never asked if you had still been seeing him. That is my own fault."

Her head dropped and she whispered that's she was sorry. Her breathing sped up, she could no longer fend off the panic attack. She couldn't be there. She absolutely couldn't be there with their anger. She ran from the room and the house. She dug into her purse and felt around for the card she was looking for. Hopefully, he'd answer her. She needed someone who wouldn't be mad at her.

They all watched her, run away, none sure if they should stop her. They then stared at each other, none proud of the way they pushed her. Bickslow looked at Lucy, letting her know he was going with Freed to look for her and she should stay there. She kissed his cheek, wishing him luck as the two men left.

She was ashamed of herself. She knew what Bickslow was going to say and she let him say it. She let him tell Freed. Instead, they pushed her off the edge. Cana said she felt like a bad friend, but it was Lucy who felt like she didn't deserve to be friends with her. 

*****

_I will stay, I will stay._   
_I will stay til the end of the line._   
_Would you carry, would you carry?_   
_Would you carry these troubles of mine?_

Cana was gone for a week, coming back just in time for Master Makarov to announce the S-Class trials. Lucy didn't know where she was, but knew that Gajeel was gone most of that time as well. She wanted to ask him how she was when the brunette walked up to her.

Before Cana had a chance to say anything, Lucy rushed the words from her mouth: "Let me be your partner for the trials. I will do all I can to make sure that you become an S-Class wizard." She smiled as her friend stood speechless, no longer caring that Loke came to help Gray and Natsu chose Happy. She was also glad Laxus wasn't there because he'd probably would've hurt her real good for making Cana have a terrible panic attack.

Cana nodded. "Okay." She whispered. "In that case, we should talk. And I would appreciate it if you and Bickslow kept this to yourselves. I would like it if he didn't know in general, but it seems like he has a better grasp on the spell than you do." She shrugged and sighed as she saw Bickslow nod in her direction out of the corner of her eye.

Lucy took Cana to her apartment. She was surprised when Cana asked to take a bath. Both women got in at opposite ends of the tub. Lucy looked expectantly at her friend. She could tell that whatever Cana was mustering up the courage to tell her was important.

"If I don't become an S-Class wizard this time, then I'm leaving the guild."

Lucy tried to block out Bickslow's angry protests. "You can't do that."

"I'm tired, Luce." She sighed. She was finally going to tell someone about her father, about who he was. She hadn't even told Laxus. "I joined the guild to find my father. I found him. And he's really powerful. So I decided that I would tell him who I was when I proved myself to be just as good as he is."

Lucy was still trying to block out Bickslow's yelling. "Who's your father?"

Cana closed her eyes and lowered her head. "Gildarts." Her voice quiet, almost a whisper.

Lucy understood. And Bickslow was finally quiet, finally understanding his friend perfectly. She reached out and touched her arm. She didn't have words. She didn't know what to say. She wanted to help her friend. "Okay. I support whatever you decide to do. I'm here for you. We'll do this together." She tried to smile as tears streamed down Cana's face. She opened her mouth to say something attempting comfort, but stopped when Bickslow told her not to.

_'Don't say anything. She doesn't like it. Her knowing you're there is comfort enough. Let her cry it out. She hasn't shared this with anyone. I know for sure that she never told Laxus. Because he would've said something to me when he was on coke. She told Freed that he's clean now, in case you care.'_

_'I know you care. You're less mad about him and Cana now that you know he's clean. But what makes you think he doesn't know?'_

_'When he was on coke, he would've shared any bit of information with me about her that he felt was important. We were her support system. We took care of her. He would've told me. Even now, I think he would've found a way to tell me.'_

They finished their bath in silence. They sat on the couch in their towels. Lucy could tell that Cana was deep in thought.

"You know you can talk to me, right?" She placed her hand on her knee.

"I know," she whispered as she wiped tears from her eyes. "I've just... Never told anyone about him. I told Bix about my dad in general, but not who he is. It's hard. It's really hard." She covered her face." And if I don't succeeded this year... I'm done. I'm leaving. I don't know what I'll do, but I'll leave."

Lucy scooted closer and wrapped her arms around her, ignoring Bickslow's advice on the matter. She just wanted to comfort her friend in her own way. She stroked her hair. "We can do this. We'll succeed." She kissed the top of her head as Cana squeezed her tightly. " And if not, I'll take you wherever you decide to go myself."

*****

Lucy sighed as Bickslow walked into her apartment and sat next to her on the couch. He was so proud of her, and even more proud of Cana for finally talking things out with her friends.

"I'm proud of her too." She smiled at him as he took off his hood. "I just hope I can actually help her. I had a chance with Loke, but now I don't know."

He smiled at her. "I believe in you."

"'cause that will help me help Cana win and stay." She rolled her eyes. She smiled as Loke appeared in front of them. "Yes?"

"I just came to double-check with you that this was alright. I know you're going to help Cana..." He rubbed the back of his head, letting the couple know that he knew as well.

She groaned. "Can't have any fuckin' secrets. I can't have secrets from Bickslow because I'm an idiot and thought this spell was a fantastic idea. I can't have secrets from my Spirits because of the link we share." She fake cried, causing the two men to chuckle.

"I like the spell. It's let me see a new side to you. I don't like being in your dreams though. They're somewhat nauseating." Bickslow smiled as Lucy mocked him with her own tongue lolling grin.

Loke smiled at the couple. He was somewhat against it at first, but immediately saw how happy Lucy was. He even went to see Bickslow about a month in, giving his consent as if Lucy was his daughter. And now that he knew they were soulmates, he was even happier for them. Mainly because it would give a boost to Lucy's magic. "I like it as well. Just a little... Tip for you guys, we hear everything she hears."

Bickslow blushed and tried not to laugh as Lucy covered her face. "Loke, I am so fucking sorry! Oh my gods. I hate everything."

Loke laughed. "Oh, it amuses us. By the way, Aquarius wants to meet him. Have fun with that." He disappeared with a laugh. 

They looked at each other and laughed. "Of course he's been listening to us for months. I expect nothing less from that perv!" Lucy doubled over onto Bickslow's lap. 

He loved to hear her laugh. She deserved it after the last couple weeks. She worried about Cana so much, it actually made her sick a couple of days. Freed came to tell them that she was spending time with Gajeel, finally telling someone about her feelings and that calmed her down some. She wanted to see her friend, but knew that Cana had to come to her. She knew an apology wouldn't just solve the problem. 

He was proud of both women. Cana had finally faced her fears and told someone of her own accord about her anxiety. She shared how she felt with Gajeel because she wanted to, not because she exploded or was caught having a panic attack. Lucy had finally figured out that she can't force her friends to tell her what she wanted to know. She had to let them tell her when they were ready and not pull the information out of them like teeth.

He smiled at her as she finally was able to control herself, wiping tears from her eyes as the last fits of laughter came from her. She sat up and sighed. She smiled at him gleefully.

"Are you excited to help Freed?"

He nodded. "Hell, yeah. I'm gonna do my damnedest to make him proud."

She stroked his cheek. "Good. I know I'm proud of you." She kissed his temple. "Are you ready for tomorrow? Got everything you need?"

He nodded. "I have a lot of pockets. I got everything I need. What about you?"

"All I need are my keys, whip, and Cana." She shrugged and smiled. "I'm gold."

"Bed, then?" He yawned and stretched, smiling when she nodded. He got up and began to walk away. He grunted when she jumped on his back. He chuckled and hooked his arms under her legs. He dropped her onto the bed, smiling as she giggled.

They both got undressed and laid under the covers. She smiled as the lights turned off and she heard the lacrima television turn on and heard a movie playing. _'Such cute bebes.'_ She loved Bickslow's Babies, probably as much as he did. She smiled as he wrapped his arms around her. 

Her smile widened as he pulled her into his lap. He sat up and kissed her throat. She tilted her head back as his hands reached down and cupped the globes of her bottom. She reached down between them and inserted his member into her. She moaned as he thrust his fingers into her rear entrance. He rocked her hips as she bounced up and down.

She closed her eyes as she felt that familiar feeling of the coil in her belly winding tight. Her breathing and his ministrations accelerated. He smirked as she whispered a string of 'oh fucks.' 

He ran his tongue up her throat to her ear. "Are you going to come for me, baby?" he whispered and she moaned in response.

He groaned as he felt the small gush from her around his cock. He smiled as she fell back onto the bed. He grabbed her legs, pushed them together, and held them against his chest. He smirked down at her as she fisted the blanket and her toes curled. He reached down with one hand and squeezed her breast. She arched her back as he rolled her nipple between his fingers.

The overwhelming stimulation caused another sharp gush from her and he groaned. He separated her legs and pinned them down against her shoulders. He let out a low growl as she moaned his named through gritted teeth. He groaned as she reached down and pulled his cock from her. He swiftly thrust himself into her rear entrance.

She put her hands on his hips and gripped tightly. He plunged his fingers into her weeping core and pistoned quickly. He felt all her muscles clench around him as he sped up. He groaned at the sharp gush from her as he reached his own orgasm.

She reached up and pulled his face down to hers and kissed him. She whimpered softly into his mouth as he pulled himself from her. She smiled as he pulled her back towards the pillows. 

"I love you." She turned to look at him, smiling brightly. 

"I love you, baby." He rolled over and draped his arm around her.

*****

  
_Don't cover our tracks (cover, don't cover)._   
_We'll say it wasn't easy,_   
_No it was never easy._   
_And when we look back (look back, we'll look back),_   
_They'll wonder how we got here._

He smiled at them across the cave. He was so proud of Lucy for wanting to do this. He was even more proud of Cana. She deserved this. He and Freed had already discussed what they'd do.

Cana came at them, no holds barred, surprising both men. She was ready. She wasn't going to lose. The two men made a strong defense, but barely getting a bit in edgewise. Lucy smiled at Bickslow softly, apologizing when she did her trademark Lucy Kick and knocked him out. She smiled at Freed and Cana, knowing that the two men had planned to throw the fight but didn't really have to due to the sheer willpower coming from Cana.

She ran over and high fived Cana after Freed went down. They left the cave excitedly. The two men rose shakily once the women were far enough away.

"Well, I didn't have to put on much of a show. But I saw Lucy knocked you out for a bit." Freed went over and helped Bickslow up.

"Fuckin' shit, dude. I forgot she kicked so hard." He rubbed his jaw. "Cana brought her A-game today." He leaned against a large rock. "I think they might've had us even if we went at them full force." He chuckled as Freed nodded. "You alright, man?"

Freed looked at him. "Of course I am. Why would you ask?" They began to walk back the way they came.

"No reason." He smirked and shook his head at his friend.

_'You're a terrible liar.'_

_'So you tell me. Anyone else there?'_

_'Ever and Elfman took down Mira. Gray and Loke got past Erza, by some miracle. Natsu and Happy got a pass by Gildarts. And of course, Levy and Gajeel got the peaceful path.'_

He laughed and shared that information with Freed, who laughed as well. They met up with Gildarts and headed home.

_'Let me know if you need me to come back, baby.'_

_'I will. Get home and get some rest. Put some ice on your jaw. I'd be sad if I permanently damaged it.'_

She looked over at Cana and smiled. The triumphant look on her face would be entirely worth it if she had damaged Bickslow's jaw. She smiled as she heard him take offense to that, his voice still clear even with how far away he was. 

She lightly hit Cana's shoulder. "We did good, babe."

Cana chuckled. She missed her friend and most certainly missed being affectionate with her. She put her arm around her shoulder and kissed her temple. "Hell, yeah we did!" 

They were ready to move on, but had no idea where to start. Lucy looked at Cana. She was mumbling to herself about what Master had said. 

_'She's not telling you anything?'_

_'Kind of. She said there were probably clues in what he said as to where First Master's grave is.'_

_'You said that first, though. Right?'_

_'It doesn't matter who said it first. If it gets us to where we need to go.'_ She was worried about her. She was afraid she was going to do something stupid. 

_'And I hope you know Gray and Loke are following you.'_

_'What?'_ She reached out and grabbed Cana's shoulders and held up her hand. _'How do you know?'_

_'I really need to reach you the best tricks of this spell.'_

She felt a strange sensation behind them. She turned slightly and saw the bushes move slightly. She stepped closer to Cana and whispered, "Gray and Loke have been following us."

Cana chuckled and nodded. "Yeah, they have been for awhile. Bickslow tell you?" She snorted when Lucy nodded. "Yeah, he really needs to teach you his tricks." She looked back where Lucy had been staring. "Let them follow us for the time being. Might as fucking well. I'm also getting this weird feeling that something is gonna happen. Like, something bad. Be better to have back up if I'm right."

_'She's right, babe. Want us to come back? We're not too far away.'_

She groaned. "Fine." She sighed. _'Not yet. Just... Just keep watching over.'_ She smiled as he assured her he would. 

*****

_Tell them how we got here:_   
_It was blood and tears._   
_Blood and tears._   
_Blood and tears._   
_It's how we got here._

  
Tears streamed down Lucy's face. She felt Loke's pain. She felt his betrayal. Then she felt his triumph at helping his old friend. She stroked Loke's key and the one that appeared next to it, Capricorn's. She reached out to Cana, grabbing her wrist.

"He's okay." She wiped her face as Gray turned to face them. "He says he's sorry he can't finish this with you."

"Considering he saved our asses back there, it's fine." He shrugged, just glad his friend is okay.

"We should split up, try to find the others. And the rest of Grimoire Heart."

Gray studied Cana. While it sounded like a horrible idea to him, the face she was making made him decide not to argue with her. "Okay. You guys stay together. Be safe."

They watched as he ran in the opposite direction of them. Lucy looked at Cana. For the first time in a long time, she was genuinely scared.

_'Don't worry, baby. We're coming. Just hold on.'_

She nodded. She looked at Cana and wondered how she was so calm. She watched her take a couple cards from her bag.

"Where did you think Master Mavis' grave was?"

Lucy began to feel sleepy. She wasn't sure why. She could barely even register Cana's question. She groggily replied and sat on the ground. She fell over, knocked out by the spell Cana cast with her sleep card. 

"Sorry, guys. But this is my last chance. Whether we're under attack or not. I have to do this. You all will be fine without me."

*****

_'Baby, wake up. I need you to wake up!'_

"Bix?" Lucy rubbed her head as she sat up. "Cana knocked me out, didn't she?"

_'Yeah, baby. She did. You've been out for about twenty minutes. We're almost there.'_

She stood up and rubbed her face. "Fuck." Her whole body ached. She looked around and remembered Bickslow's voice was in her head. "I don't even know which way I should go." She groaned.

_'I've got you. Just keep going in the direction you're facing.'_

She was curious as to how he knew what direction to go, but she didn't feel like asking him. She knew he'd give a smart ass answer and she'd roll her eyes. 

Just then, she heard someone talking to themselves, a voice she didn't recognize at all. She looked in the direction it was coming from and mumbled under her breath. "Fucking shit."

  
*****

_I know we've got odds against us;_   
_We're probably gonna get real tired._   
_Oh, we may have to choose._

Lucy was so excited to see Bickslow. Everything that had happened had scared her. She sighed as his arms wrapped around her. "I'm glad you're okay?"

He kissed her forehead. "Me too, baby. Now, as much as I want to spend time with you, my best friend is here and I have to go see him."

She smiled as she watched him and the rest of his team run over and tackle Laxus, all forgetting their injuries. She sighed as she looked over all her friends, glad that they were all alive. She watched as Cana walked over to her. 

"Hey..." 

Lucy could tell that the whole day of ignoring her anxiety finally caught up with her. She was wringing her hands and her eyes were darting back and forth at every noise. Lucy stood up and grabbed her hand. "Hey. Master told me about a herbal spring not too far from here. Let's go, okay?" She sighed and led her away in the direction he had told her to go.

_'We're going to the spring. I think Laxus should come if he gets the chance. Cana's...'_

_'I see her, baby. We'll come when we get the chance.'_

Lucy smiled at Cana when they got to the spring. The two took off their clothes. They get into the water. The water stung their cuts and massaged their muscles at the same time. Lucy reached out and touched Cana's shoulder as she stared to cry. She squeezed softly as Cana reached up and grabbed her hand. She heard shuffling behind her and soft splashes as the men got in the water. She wiped tears from her cheeks as Bickslow's arms wrapped around her shoulders and Laxus stood in front of Cana.

"I'm here, Cana. I'm here." Laxus wrapped his arms around Cana tightly.

"I'm the fucking worst. I'm the worst. I'm so sorry. I don't deserve to be here." She put her arms around his waist pressed her fingers into his back. "I don't deserve to be in Fairy Tail. I don't deserve to be here."

He sighed, stroking her hair. "Master Mavis' wouldn't have given you Fairy Glitter if that was true."

Lucy and Bickslow watched as the scene unfolded. She smiled as he pulled her back so the other two could have their space. She turned her head to kiss his chin.

_'I'm so glad you're okay.'_

_'I am too, Lucy.'_ He sighed as he watched two of his best friends comfort each other. He chuckled as they got out, got dressed and went into the woods. "Are you doing okay?"

She sighed as she turned around. "I almost died, Bix..." She looked up into his eyes. She tried to form words, thoughts, but couldn't.

Bickslow hugged her as tight as he could, trying to stop her from reliving that moment over and over again. "But you didn't. You're here. With me. With our friends, our family." He smiled as he felt her mood lift. 

"You're right." She kissed him. She sighed as she listened to the not so far off sounds of Laxus and Cana having sex.

He closed his eyes, trying to ignore the fantasy playing in her head. "I... What? Lucy, where did that come from?"

She looked up at him. "I don't think Cana's okay. I think Laxus is trying very hard to help in the only way he really knows how. But I don't think it's enough. I've been rifling through your memories and I know you tended to do the same thing with her. And it does seem to help her... "

He groaned at her. "You think he needs help?"

The nearby sounds of sex stopped. And Lucy chuckled. "Did I offend you?"

She looked up at where she had a feeling Laxus would appear, and sure enough there he was. He clenched and unclenched his jaw. _'Blondie may have a good fuckin' point.'_ He looked down at Bickslow, who clearly shared his disdain for Lucy's proposition.

Cana walked back to them, somewhat frustrated and looked at the three of them. "You ditched me to stare at them hugging?" She knew that probably wasn't what was happening, but it was hard to tell with Laxus sometimes.

"Lucy wants an orgy." Bickslow deadpanned. _'I can't fuckin' believe you sometimes... '_

 _'You literally could've stopped me. Don't complain about your fuck up.'_ Lucy smiled as Cana walked over to them and knelt next to the spring, about a foot from where Bickslow and Lucy were. "Hello." She winked at Cana, and both women laughed.

"Oh, Laxus, she's serious." She stroked Lucy's hair and kissed her forehead. She chuckled as she looked at the blond's expression. "Don't be so uptight."

"He doesn't want to share, Cana. And quite, frankly, neither do I." Bickslow turned to look at her and she turned around. He got out of the spring and got dressed."So, I understand his hesitation."

"Lighten up, guys." Lucy got out of the spring and Laxus turned his head as quick as he could, catching Cana smirking at him. "We could just do this without you." She grabbed her clothes from Bickslow and begrudgingly got dressed.

Both men were silent as the women chuckled as they hooked arms. They looked at each other while their girlfriends giggled at them. At the same time, both groaned out the words, "I hate you," and looked at the women.

"Oh, I saw I cave by where I almost died!" Lucy beamed at them as Laxus turned to Bickslow.

"Now we really can't say no to her." Laxus groaned as Bickslow's tongue lolled from his mouth.

"Can't say no to her anyway." He shrugged. He walked over to Lucy and threw her over his shoulder. He turned his head to kiss the bare skin of her waist.

Lucy hummed contently as she watched Laxus and Cana follow them. _'They are cute together.'_

_'They always have been. I kinda felt like the odd man out when the three of us used to hang out. Even when her and I were together. They just have this... Closeness that always been there.'_

"Luce, why did you want this weird foursome?" Cana cocked her head at the couple.

Lucy lifted her head and propped herself up on her elbows so she wouldn't dangle freely as she spoke. "For you. Think of it as a gift."

"Of course it is." Cana chuckled. She knew exactly why Lucy wanted to do it. And quite frankly, she was okay with that. She knew that Laxus' body would've given out on him if he'd continued to do it on his own. She was thankful her friend knew her well enough to know what she needed. She turned and looked at Laxus, who was looking more and more relaxed as they walked on. "I love you." She leaned over and kissed his cheek.

"I love you too." He picked her up and carried her, arms hooked under her knees and back. He smiled as Lucy reached out and twirled a tendril of Cana's hair. Just as Bickslow couldn't say no to Lucy, Laxus couldn't say no Cana. He'd do anything for her, including have a foursome with his best friend and his girlfriend.

They finally found the cave and walked into it. The men set the excited women down. Lucy and Cana held hands and began to explore. The two men followed expectantly, neither really wanting to take part but also not wanting to miss their girlfriends touch another beautiful woman.

Cana stopped and turned to Lucy. She pulled her in close and kissed her. She pulled down her skirt and tube top, leaving only a pair of blue lacey panties. She smiled when she felt Laxus' hands pulling down her pants and plunging his fingers into her weeping sex. She broke away from Lucy and saw Bickslow smirk behind her.

He reached around Lucy and put his hand around Cana's throat. "Still like it rough?"

"Yes, Master," she moaned out. 

"That's a girl." He squeezed tighter as Laxus's fingers picked up the pace. He knew by the look on her face that she was close. He gripped a little tighter and then relented when a sharp gush came from her.

Lucy was in awe at the three of them. If both men weren't so territorial over their women, she might've guessed that they'd done this before. She took off Cana's shirt and gazed at the dark metal bars through her nipples, mesmerized. As if sensing what she wanted, Laxus picked up Cana, sheathing himself entirely in her rear entrance, moving her pierced peaks closer to Lucy's watering mouth. She licked one of her nipples, then drew it into her mouth. She gently rolled the other between her fingers. Her other hand found Cana's core and her fingers deftly rubbed the little mound.

Bickslow thrusted himself into Lucy's wet sex. He kept his hand on Cana's throat and held tightly to Lucy's hip with the other. He groaned, the sounds coming from both women were heavenly and he wanted nothing more than to keep hearing them. 

_'Lower us. I want to watch. Please let me watch.'_

He felt her voyeuristic hunger. He pulled himself out of her and let go of Cana's throat and smirked when she whimpered. "Don't worry. You'll like this."

Lucy got on her knees and watched Laxus pounded into Cana. She continued to rub her throbbing mound and licked her slick folds from her fingers and back to Laxus' cock, causing him to growl softly. She felt Cana's muscles tense and lapped up her juices.

 _'I want to watch you fuck her.'_ She hummed as Cana moaned.

 _'Are you sure?'_ He growled as she nodded. He stood over her and lined himself up with Cana and glanced at Laxus, making sure it was okay before he did anything and got a nod in response. Both men groaned as Cana's moans echoed around the cave. 

Cana's senses were overloaded. She was being stretched to her limit. Lucy's tongue was licking circles on the small bit of skin between her filled holes. She leaned her head back against Laxus' shoulder and shuddered as another orgasm rippled through her. She moaned softly and bucked her hips. She sighed as both men pulled themselves from her and she dropped to the ground in front of Lucy. She smiled at her while she tried to catch her breath.

She chuckled at Lucy as they two men sat down with them, as if they could read her mind. "It's your turn now, babe." She winked at Bickslow, knowing he'd agree since the roles were just reversed.

Bickslow smirked at her as he pulled Lucy towards him and laid her down on her back. He smiled as Cana pulled Laxus toward Lucy's head and the two shared a look that caused the blondes to look at each other and shrug apprehensively. Cana gently climbed on top of Lucy facing Bickslow. She began to suck on Lucy's clit as Bickslow easily slid into her.

Laxus stared down at Lucy, unsure of what to do. She reached out and wrapped her fingers around his cock and began to stroke him. She opened her mouth and licked the tip. She moaned softly when he thrusted himself down her throat. 

Cana smirked as she heard him grunt softly. She moaned as she felt fingers go inside her holes. She lifted her head as Lucy gushed slightly to turn and see. Laxus' fingers were pistoning into her rear entrance and Lucy was filling her with what felt like her whole fist.

Lucy's eyes rolled back into her head, enjoying the feeling of the two men inside her. She felt both cocks swell and twitch. She closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of them filling her up. Laxus pulled himself from her mouth with a pop. 

Cana got off her and laid next to her and stared at her. "Thank you, Lucy." She scooted closer and kissed her cheek. "You, once again, know me better than I know myself."

Lucy shrugged as Bickslow laid on top of her, his semi-erect cock still inside her. "I don't. I just know that you like to have sex to feel better. And that makes sense. When you orgasm, your brain releases these feel good chemicals." She chuckled when Bickslow internally called her a nerd.

_We're gonna have to learn what hard is._   
_If it'll be a fight regardless,_   
_I only want the fight to be with you._

Cana smiled as Laxus put her head in his lap. She hummed contently. "Makes sense, I guess." She turned and saw the other couple kiss. "Mavis, you guys are distustingly cute."

Bickslow laughed and sat up, finally pulling himself from Lucy, who whimpered at the loss. He pulled up his pants and leaned back down to kiss her. "You'll be okay." He groaned as she wrapped herself around him. "You're so insatiable sometimes." He chuckled as Laxus pulled Lucy away. He stood up and stretched as Laxus let go of her. He leaned down and gripped her chin when she pouted at him. "Don't do that." He sighed when she internally begged for more. "No."

 _'I just want more of what we just did.'_ She continued to pout.

"Then ask. They are right there." He was no longer able to hold back. The voices came with force, yelling as loud as they could.

Cana was about to respond to his words when she saw him drop to his knees and cover his face. She stood in awe as Laxus grabbed Lucy and stood in front of her as green light flowed from Bickslow's face.

Without looking away from his friend, he yelled at the girls. "Get dressed and get out of here!"

Cana grabbed their clothes and tugged on Lucy's arm, urging her to get up. Laxus shot a small bolt of lightning in front of Lucy and that finally spurred her to move. As they got far enough away, Cana quickly got dressed and began to dress Lucy.

"Cana, what's happening?"

"You've seen him change, right? Where he's not himself?" She tried to hold back her own tears as Lucy's flowed freely and nodded. "This is worse. This much worse. The Bickslow that's about to come out is a lot darker. And angrier. We have to leave."

"Why can't I hear him anymore?" Her eyes widened as she heard a maniacal cackle.

She sighed. "I don't know. It probably has something to do with him having better control than what you do over the spell. He's probably been practicing while you're asleep." She finished dressing her and continued to pull her from the cave.

"Have you seen this before?" She finally found the will to look away from the faint green glow deep within the cave.

"Yeah. And it was awful. I was lucky Laxus was nearby and sensed something was up with Bix." She ran her fingers through her hair. "He's mean. And violent." She had hoped Lucy would've been able to fix him by that point. She didn't want her friend to ever see that side of him. She began to walk away back toward the camp, but Lucy stayed put.

_I will stay, I will stay._   
_I will stay til the end of the line._   
_Would you carry, could you carry?_   
_Would you carry these troubles of mine?_

"I'm gonna stay here. I have to." She turned her gaze back to the cave. She wiped her cheeks as Laxus came out of the cave, carrying Bickslow over his shoulder.

"Had to knock his ass out. Sorry, Blondie." He sighed when he saw Lucy's face. "It doesn't happen often, thankfully. It just happens when he gets really stressed. Probably everything that happened today was too much. This part of him... He's scared of. He hates it. But it's there. And unfortunately, it's not our place to tell you about this. Once you talk to him about it, we'll tell you all we know. But until then, I'm sorry."

She watched him walk back the way they came. She sighed softly when Bickslow's voice softly came back to her, tears flowing once again.

_'I am so sorry, Lucy.'_

_'Baby. You never have to be sorry for anything. Okay? Nothing. I promised that I would help you. I promised that I accepted you, all of you, everything you do. And this is no exception.'_

_'You shouldn't have to accept all my fucked up shit...'_

_'Stop. I love you. With all of my heart. Bickslow. You are the love of my life.'_

_'I am?'_

She smiled at the change of tone in his voice at those two words. _'Yes. You idiot. I love you more than anything else.'_ She held Cana's hand as she wiped away the tears of joy. _'Just get better. And I'm gonna make out with Cana.'_ She laughed at his speechlessness and stuttering.

"He okay?" She sighed when Lucy nodded. "Good. Those episodes never last long, especially once he's knocked out." She chuckled softly as Lucy hugged her. As if sensing what Lucy was planning on doing she pulled away. "Why don't we go find Gildarts?" She grabbed Lucy's hand and led her to where she thought he might be.

"Are you sure about this?" Lucy smiled softly at her friend, walking with such a purpose she had never seen from her.

She sighed. "I don't think the trials are going to continue this go-round. So, I'm going to tell him. I found Master Mavis' grave. I got where none of the others did. I'm confident enough that I would have become S-Class this year."

They heard Natsu, Happy, and Gildarts talking. They walked through the trees and found the men.

"Hey, Natsu, Happy. Can you guys come help me with something? Over here?" She gestured away from Cana and Gildarts.

"Why? We're fishin' here!"

She grabbed the pinket and the blue tomcat by the ears and dragged them away. When she felt they were far enough away, she let them go. Natsu was about to yell at her but stopped with his mouth opened. He turned back to Lucy with an 'oh' expression on his face. Happy stared up at the two of them, confused, but not asking questions based on their expressions.

He sighed. "Good for her. She deserves to have someone like him. He's been like a dad to me. I think it'll be good for them both."

She smiled at him and put her arm around his waist and her head against his shoulder. He put his arm around her shoulders and kissed her forehead, a gesture he had come to give her when he felt she needed love most, even something as simple as platonic love.

"You're a good friend, Lucy." He smiled widely down at her.

"Thanks, Natsu." She smiled back up at him as Cana walked up. She was surprised when Natsu hugged her and kissed her forehead. She chuckled when he sniffed her and turned to look at Lucy, then shrugged. He walked away, with Happy flying after him and questioning what was happening. She turned to look at Cana and put her arm around her waist. "I'm so proud of you. Bickslow is too."

She smiled as she wiped the tears from her face. "Thanks." She whispered.

"Laxus is too." She leaned into her friend as they walked back towards the camp.

_Don't cover our tracks (cover, don't cover)._   
_We'll say it wasn't easy,_   
_No it was never easy._   
_And when we look back (look back, we'll look back),_   
_They'll wonder how we got here._

When they got back, the Raijinshu were huddled together, their little family back together. Lucy was happy for her friends and boyfriend. She had seen how Laxus being away had affected them, and she was glad that he was back.

Her and Cana walked up to Levy and Gajeel. She smiled as Cana pulled him away and she stood with Levy. "You really like him." The blunette stuttered and blushed. "It's okay. I think he likes you too." She smiled at her smaller framed friend. She seemed slightly bothered by Cana being so close to him. "You know they're just friends, right? She has a boyfriend." She laughed at the relief that washed over her face.

Levy was much more relaxed now. "That makes me feel better about their friendship. She's just so beautiful and... "

"Shut your fucking mouth. You're beautiful too. Everyone thinks so. She thinks so. So, hush up." She put her arm around her friend's shoulders as she watched Erza tend to Juvia's leg. Her heart dropped when she saw the way she still watched Gray. As much as she loved Gray, his ambivalence towards the water mage made her angry with him.

_'Just calm it down, babe. You don't know how he feels. He might share her feelings and just doesn't know how to deal with her being so strong with hers.'_

She sighed. He had a point, she hated to admit. She turned her attention back to Levy, smiling at Gajeel and Cana. Their attention was taken away by someone clearing their throat. Both women turned to see Freed.

"Miss Levy, might I borrow you for a moment?" He held his hand out for the small woman to take, which she did.

Lucy shurgged, wondering what that was about but decided it was best not to ask. She saw Gajeel split from Cana and head in the same direction as Freed and Levy. The brunette walked back over to her, still looking in the direction of the other three mages with a mischievous grin on her face.

She laughed at her. "Do I even want to know what that's about?"

"Even of you did, it's not my place to say." She shrugged and walked over to Juvia and Erza, sitting next to the blunette and and resting her head lighty on her shoulder.

Lucy smiled at Cana. Now that she knew about Cana's anxiety, she wondered why she had it. She had lots of friends, people she could talk to. But the more she thought about, the more she realized it was kind of like Bickslow's schizophrenia in the sense of how she treated herself in respect to other people. While Bickslow loved being around others, he kept people at arm's length so they wouldn't see what was really going on. Maybe Cana was the same way. And maybe that's why they didn't work out. They needed someone to balance them, the way Lucy and Laxus had been. 

She smiled all around at her friends. She was glad everyone was still alive. All she wanted was for this family if hers to stay together. She decided to go for a walk. She looked around at this sacred land of their guild. It was beautiful. Even with all the damage that had been done to it with the battles of the day, it was still beautiful to her. She found herself at the beach. She sat in the sand and extended her legs out into the water. She smiled when Bickslow came and sat next to her.

"I'm sorry for what happened earlier."

"Baby." She leaned her head against his shoulder. "Don't apologize." She scooted closer to him until their legs touched. She grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers and put them in her lap. "I'm just glad you're okay." She smiled at him as he took off his hood. "I love seeing your face."

He sighed. She always knew what to say to make him feel better. She was so good to him. She made him feel whole, for the first time in his life. She made him feel at peace. He felt that he could never repay her for that.

He let go of her hand, letting his now free hand go between her legs. He moved her panties to one side and thrust his fingers inside her. He smiled as she tried to reach over and touch him, but grabbed her wrist. "Let me do this for you. I don't need anything right now except for your pleasure." He let go of her hand and she grabbed his arm with both hands.

She moaned as quietly as she could when she felt his fingertips press into the spongey bundle of nerves inside her. She felt the coil in her belly tighten. She turned her head slightly and bit into his shoulder, trying to keep herself quiet. Her breath hitched and she closed her eyes. The coil gave way and she moaned as she gushed around his fingers. 

His fingers kept moving. His thumb pressed into her pearl. She moaned softly and bit down harder. He groaned at the pleasurable pain she was unintentionally inflicting upon him: her teeth in his shoulder, her nails into his arm. He smirked when her legs began to shake, another orgasm threatening to come out. He reached over and pinched her nipple and rolled it between his fingers as hard as he could, making her bite down hard enough to break skin. He felt her walls clench and release the sharp burst of her orgasm against his hand.

He ignored her silent pleas for him to fuck her and continued, just one more time. His ministrations became harder and faster. Her whole body was racked with shudders. He saw flecks of red mixed with the saliva running down her chin. He smirked as she finally released him, her body shaking from the orgasm as she fell back. He licked his fingers clean while she breathed heavily. He smiled when she laughed heartily. He rubbed his shoulder and winced as he withdrew his hand with some blood on his palm. 

"Sorry, baby." She laid her arm over her eyes as she still struggled to catch her breath.

"Don't worry about it, baby." He smiled as she lightly touched his back. "I love you." He stared out at the ocean.

"I love you too." She sat up and rested her head on his shoulder. She kissed the wet holes left from her teeth. "I love you so much."

He smiled as she intertwined their fingers. He felt like the luckiest man in the world to have someone so beautiful understand him and love him. He laid down in the sand. He sighed when she stroked the person mark down his nose. He grunted softly when she climbed on top of him and laid her head on his chest.

"Whoa, there, Blondie. You're in public."

She turned her head to look and see Laxus carrying Cana on his back.

"Oh, fuck you." She lowered her head and closed her eyes.

He chuckled as he sat down next to them. "You lost your chance."

She opened her eyes as Cana laid down with her head on Bickslow's arm. "How do you know?" She chuckled as he turned to her. "I know Lucy enjoyed herself and Bickslow can't say no to her."

Bickslow laughed as gave his tongue lolling grin. "She's right. On both counts." He smiled as Lucy hummed contently. "What the lady wants, the lady gets."

"You said no to her earlier."

Lucy chuckled as she sat up. "Oh, that wasn't him saying no. That's just a little game we play during sex." She chuckled again when he groaned. "Don't judge us." She hit his arm playfully.

He rolled his eyes. "What the fuck ever." He looked over at her. "You really want to do that again?" He sighed when she nodded excitedly."Fine. We can. Since everyone else is on board with it." He flinched when she jumped at him with a tight embrace, tackling him to the ground. He patted her back and she sat up.

"Thanks, Laxus." She got off him and laid next to Bickslow with her head on Cana's stomach.

"I hate all of you." 

Lucy sat back up and rested her head on his shoulder. "No you don't. Well, me maybe. But not them."

He sighed. "You're right. Still cathartic to say it regardless." He scoffed when she kissed his cheek. "Just because I said we could, doesn't mean now."

"I wasn't trying to now. Gods, you're so touchy. I don't know how they put up with your shit."

"You're one to talk."

"You are getting on my last nerve."

"Oh, I'm so _scared."_ He laughed in a mocking tone. She cocked her arm back and swung her fist at his face, but he reached up and stopped her. "Blondie. Stop it."

Cana and Bickslow were giggling at their lovers. "Mavis, they're children." They giggled even more when they received angry looks." Oh, now they're mad at us." She sat up and reached out to both of them. "Be nice to each other. I love you both. Bickslow loves you both. So be nice. Please."

The two angry mages looked at each other and sighed. They both nodded in agreement. Cana grabbed both of their hands and pulled them closer. She kissed Laxus' forehead.

He smelled a bit of arousal rising from the women. "You seriously want to do this now?"

Bickslow groaned. "I'm fuckin' tired. Seriously?"

Lucy pouted. "Fine. When we get back." She rubbed his leg. "I hear Laxus has a big bed anyway." Both men groaned, as if to say 'thank the gods.' Both women laughed. "Let's go back to camp then."

Bickslow got up and his Babies flew from his pockets and he plopped down on them so they could carry him. The rest got up, laughing at him. They headed to the camp. Laxus stopped for a moment, sniffed the air, and groaned.

"What?" Lucy patted his back.

Without thinking, he picked her up and carried her on his back, making Cana laugh at how she had trained her dragon. "Apparently, this place is like fuckin' ecstasy. Everyone is just fuckin' everywhere."

Cana laughed. "Oh, yeah."

He turned to look at her. "What did you do?"

"Don't worry about it. If you didn't smell who it was, then you'll find out later."

He groaned and Lucy kissed the back of his head. He was slowly becoming used to her platonic shows of affection, knowing she did it with Natsu and Gray as well. He was glad both Cana and Bickslow had her while he was gone.

"Hey, Cana." The brunette turned to the blonde. "Bickslow told me that you'd try to seduce Evergreen just to say you slept with all the members of the Raijinshu. Is that true?"

Both men stopped and turned to looked at her. Cana just kept going and chuckled. "Yeah, I probably would. Sounds like you're challenging me, Luce?" She turned and began to walk backwards as they walked back into the camp.

"Maybe I am." She laughed as Laxus groaned and she climbed off his back. She thought Cana deserved a bit of fun. Well, at least what the brunette called fun.

"Gods, I'm so fucked. I hate you." He chuckled at her seriousness. He knew why she did it, and he loved that she loved Cana as much as he did. He just didn't want his crazy girlfriend to bring him into it. He knew he wasn't Ever's type.

Bickslow chuckled and gave his trademark tongue lolling grin. "This is gonna be fun. I think she's got this. That woman can do anything if she puts her mind to it." He went into camp and followed Cana over to Evergreen.

_Tell them how we got here:_   
_It was blood and tears._   
_Blood and tears._   
_Blood and tears._

  
Laxus stared down and Lucy and she looked back up at him. "If I can't come back just yet, will you keep taking care of her?" He sighed." I trust you with her. And I know that you'll let her get away with shit to make her feel better. But I also know you won't let her go too far. Or at least try to not let her."

She wrapped her arms around his waist. "I will. I promise." She took a deep breath and stepped away from him. 

She walked back into camp. She looked over and saw Cana, Bickslow and Evergreen laughing. She chuckled to herself, seeing Cana bring her flirting A-game. She saw Natsu briefly touch Lisanna's leg, smiling to herself as if he didn't think anyone else knew about them. She saw Erza and Mira giggle about something. She watched a faint smile cross Gray's face as Juvia limped after him. She smiled as Master Makarov and Laxus hugged and talked. She sighed as Levy smiled at Gajeel and Freed. She giggled as Happy, once again, tried to give Carla a fish and her turn him down and Pantherlily laughing at him. Her heart warmed when she saw Gildarts brag to Elfman about his daughter being more of a man than the two of them.

She sat and continued to watch everyone. She loved them all. They were her family. She smiled over all of them as Bickslow floated over to her. "Hi, baby."

He smiled and hummed at her. He held his hand out for her to take, which she did, and pulled her into his lap. She leaned back into his chest and he wrapped his arms around her waist. They floated away back to the cave.

"I thought you were tired."

"I am. I just wanted to be alone."

She smiled at him. She could tell he didn't want to talk. He just wanted to be alone, like they would do at home in his woodworking room: her reading in the corner and him working on new totems at his desk. He didn't actually take her to the cave, but just on a leisurely fly-by of the island. 

She enjoyed every moment she spent with him, even the silent ones. He had this way of settling her that she couldn't quite describe. It was almost like he was able to quiet and calm her ever racing imagination in a way that made her thoughts and ideas make sense.

She turned her head and kissed his cheek. "Can we land?" She reached around to stroke the back of his head.

"I'm not sure why you aren't understanding that I'm tired."

"But I'm not." She took on of his hands and put it between her thighs so he could feel her drenched panties. "Besides, I'll do all the work. You don't have to do a thing." She chuckled as the descended towards the cave. "Oh, thank you." She moaned softly as his fingers rubbed her mound. She sighed as the Babies deposited them on the ground then went back out of the cave.

He groaned as she reached between them and freed member from his pants and lowered herself onto him. She leaned back against him as she bounced her hips up and down. She moaned when he pulled down her top and grabbed one of her breasts tightly. He bit down on her shoulder as her back arched. He peered over her shoulder slightly and watched as her breasts bounced violently as she rocked her hips harder. 

She felt the coil in her belly tighten. His fingers on her pearl matched the pace of her hips. His other hand kneading her breast and pinching her nipple made her moan breathily. She gripped his pants with white-knuckle tightness as the coil gave way. Her toes curls as her body shook.

She smiled as he licked the outer shell of her ear. She knew that with her doing most of the work, he wouldn't orgasm for awhile. She smirked at that thought as he groaned.

"You did this on purpose, didn't you? I didn't even hear you think this far in advance. You little shit." He groaned as she chuckled.

She lifted herself up and turned around, still straddling his lap. She leaned down to kiss him as she lowered herself back onto his member. She giggled as he wrapped his arms around her waist and began to rock her hips. She moaned softly as he bit her lip. She smiled when his fingers began to rub her pearl again. 

She leaned her head back as he peppered her throat with kisses. He bit down where her neck met her jaw and she let out a moan that was similar to that first night they were together, the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. 

She moaned as he pinned her down against the ground. She tried to lift her head up to kiss him, but he pulled away. She whimpered softly but the noise was cut short by a loud moan as he pounded into her. He let go of her arms and pinned her legs down by her head. He adjusted himself in a way to where his cock hit the spongey bundle of nerves inside her and she moaned loudly every time he slammed into her.

He groaned as she orgasmed and gushed around his cock. He leaned down to kiss her as he sped up his ministrations. She moaned as he smacked her bottom, the slap echoing through the cave. She reached up and fisted his hair as he slapped her bottom again.

She let out a giggle-like moan as he hand slammed down again. "I fucking love you." The words came out in breathy moans as she tried to keep her eyes opened and focused on his.

"I fucking love you too."

Another orgasm ripped through her and summoned his own. She pulled him down and kissed him as he pulled himself from her and pulled up her shirt.

  
_We forged ever river of_   
_Blood and tears,_   
_Blood and tears,_   
_Blood and tears._   
_It's how we got here._

  
"Are you satisfied enough to go back and be around others?"

She chuckled as he pulled them up and the Babies came flying in. "For now." She smiled as he sat on the Babies and pulled her up with him.

She smiled the whole way back. They landed next to Laxus and Gildarts, who were talking about Cana. She looked around and saw Cana wasn't around, but neither was Evergreen, and chuckled as she walked around to watch her other friends.

"Hey, Luce."

She turned to see at Natsu, who was fidgeting. She cocked an eyebrow at him. "Hey, Natsu."

"Can I talk to you about something?"

"Sure. What do you need?"

"I need your advice..."

She laughed slightly at the shade of red he turned. "About what?"

"Sex."

She tried not to laugh as she heard Laxus and Gajeel lose their shit. She turned to see Wendy an even darker shade of red and close her eyes as she sighed. "Okay. Let's go somewhere else. Where those two morons won't judge you. And Wendy won't be corrupted." She rolled her eyes as the other two male dragon slayers continued to laugh hysterically.

She led him back into the woods where she felt they were far enough away. She smiled when she noticed Bickslow was waiting.

"I figured he might feel more comfortable if another guy was here." He shrugged.

She turned to look at Natsu and he nodded apprehensively. "Okay. So, what do you want to know?"

He fidgeted with his scarf as he looked down at his feet. "Everything?"

_'Oh, gods. We're really about to have the talk with your dense, moronic friend.'_

She hit his shoulder and he gave his tongue lolling grin. "Anywhere you want to start in particular?"

He shrugged. "I don't know how to do anything. I feel like I can't even kiss right..."

She sighed and smiled sadly at him. "I'm sure it's not that bad."

He plopped onto the ground and she sat next to him. "I think it might be."

Bickslow groaned as he sat in front of them. "What makes you think it's not right? Is it how she responds?"

Natsu shrugged again as he looked up at Bickslow. "She like... She tries to take the lead."

"Yeah, you're not doing it right." Lucy sighed and looked at Bickslow. "Go ahead and let her take the lead."

"Okay, man. This is gonna be really fuckin' weird but we're gonna kiss and you're gonna watch. Take fuckin'notes if you have to." Bickslow chuckled as Lucy's internal cursing of him for talking down to Natsu.

She scooted over to him and kissed him. She had to fight all her instincts to just allow her lust to carry her away and kiss him slowly. She smiled at his internal commands to keep her tongue to herself for the time being. She forgot how much she liked to just kiss him. She smiled at him as he pulled away.

"I was not doing that. Now I know to."

_Wanna get some bruises. Wanna fall a few times._   
_Wanna put a couple mountains behind us._   
_Wanna throw a fist up._   
_Wanna tell a war cry._   
_Wanna say that we fought and we won._

  
Just then, a giggling Evergreen stumbled into the path they were sitting on, followed by a beaming Cana. Ever kept walking back to camp while Cana stared down at her three friends.

"Um... Do I want to know?" She scratched her head.

"They're teaching me about sex."

Both Lucy and Bickslow were surprised that Can kept her composure and sat down next to Natsu. "Do you ever fantisize or anything? Masturbate?"

He shrugged. "Not really. I never really thought about needing to or whatever."

She smiled at him. "Okay. So, my first time was definitely... Not really good or enjoyable. And that's okay. Most people's first times are like that. It's one of those things were you have these vague instincts on what to do, but executing those actions might not turn out to be great. I also know that it was his first time too. I didn't know that at the time though because he was confident about it. For your first time, you don't need advice. Because it'll be her first time, too. And it's okay for it to be weird and bad. Because you'll keep doing it and it'll get better. But if it doesn't, that's when you ask for help."

Natsu nodded as he took in her words. Bickslow and Lucy looked at each other: him more stunned that Laxus was a virgin until he was nineteen and her more stunned at Cana's wisdom and tenderness. 

"Thanks, Cana."

"Anytime, flame brain."

He chuckled as he got up and walked away. She turned to look at the couple, who were staring with stunned faces. "What?"

"Are you sure Laxus' first time was with you? 'cause he made comments that makes me think otherwise."

She laughed. "Yeah. He told me after. He said that he wanted me to know the truth." She shrugged. "I told you he's always been good to me. Doesn't even lie to me."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Fine. I believe you."

"That was so sweet!" Both Cana and Bickslow grimaced as Lucy's expression was more akin to one of Mira's shipping expressions. 

Cana stood up and smiled at the Celestial mage. "You're something else, Lucy."

"Thank you." Lucy beamed up at her. They watched her walk away.

"How are you so good to everyone?"

She turned to see Bickslow smirking at her. She shrugged. "I just want my friends to be happy." 

  
******

  
_Don't cover our tracks._   
_We'll say it wasn't easy,_   
_No it was never easy._   
_And when we look back, (look back, we'll look back)_   
_They'll wonder how we got here._   
_Tell them how we got here._

The dragon was toying with all of them. It was going to kill them.

Lucy tried to push those thoughts away as she watched her friends fight with all their might. She really didn't want everything to end there. She looked up at Bickslow. Things were just getting good with him and she wanted nothing more than to keep the momentum going.

_'Me too, but right now we have to find a way to take down this fuckin' dragon.'_

She nodded at his words in her head as the giant beast spoke to the dragon slayers in belittling tones. She wished she could help, but her Spirits needed rest, especially Loke and Capricorn. 

There was nothing they could do.

_It was blood and tears._   
_Blood and tears._   
_Blood and tears._   
_We forged every river of_   
_Blood and tears._   
_Blood and tears._   
_Blood and tears._

Everyone had joined hands as Mira hand instructed. Lucy looked across the circle of her friends, her family, at Bickslow. His eyes met hers and they both smiled.

_'I love you, Bix.'_

_'I love you, Lucy.'_

_Oh, it's how we got here._   
_Blood and tears._   
_Blood and tears._   
_Blood and tears._

There was a blinding flash and a loud roar. 

_We forged every river of_   
_Blood and tears._   
_Blood and tears._   
_Blood and tears._   
_It's how we got here._


End file.
